BANANAS & BEES

Strawberries

2012-01-31T11:48:00.000-08:00

First off-- Thank you for your kind words on yesterday's post. It was an emotional post, and I appreciate the love I felt from all of you. I also am thankful that you continue to stick with me as I write about my mom. It is a big help as I am still grieving her loss.

Speaking of my mom, did you know that during her last six months on this earth she could not eat or drink anything? She could swish water or juice around in her mouth, but had to spit it out. Her nutrition came in the form of a liquid that was fed through a tube directly into her stomach. The doctors did not want her to aspirate anything that could exacerbate her pneumonia-damaged lungs. Because of this, she struggled with extreme dry mouth. This made it hard to talk sometimes. And I'm sure it was both uncomfortable and frustrating. I can't imagine going that long without tasting some of my favorite foods.

She would joke about wishing the nurses could inject Mexican food from her favorite restaurant into her feeding tube, but in all honesty she didn't complain about the situation at all. She did tell me once, though, that she dreamed about eating strawberries again. It was a common dream, and she couldn't wait until she could eat them one day. I was telling a friend about my mom's longing for strawberries, and my sweet friend suggested that while my mom couldn't eat strawberries right now, my kids could be like strawberries to her soul--sweet and satisfying and good. I told my mom about the analogy and she loved it. From then on, anything "sweet" in the midst of her physical struggle became a "strawberry" to her.

I've been struggling a bit lately. Struggling with her loss, missing her deeply, and with change going on in my family. The best way I've learned to turn a pity-party around is to stop and give thanks. A thankful heart has no room for ungratefulness. So here's my list of "strawberries" at the moment. I know I have enough to fill up an entire basket.

1. Healthy children--all three are happy and healthy and thriving.

2. A wonderful, supportive, hard-working husband who happens to be my best friend.

3. A comfortable, warm home.

4. Friends that never cease to brighten my day.

5. A closet full of clothes-- why do I ever complain?

6. The ability to live and move and exercise this one body I've been given.

7. A bookshelf full of books to both challenge and entertain me.

8. Chocolate chip banana bread. Made it yesterday-- 'nuff said. :)

9. Hearing Leah read to herself each night. She is finally picking up books and reading for her own enjoyment!

10. Watching Lucas chase after his sisters, and the excitement on his face when they get off the bus each afternoon.

11. Seeing Hannah spend time drawing and creating and proudly displaying what she has done.

12. Thirty-four years of wonderful memories (almost 35-- on Friday!)

13. God who loves me unconditionally, and speaks to me through His Word to encourage and comfort and strengthen my inmost being.

I could go on, but I'll stop there. I feel better already!

What are some "strawberries" in your life right now?

I Heard Her Voice

2012-01-30T14:16:00.000-08:00

When I attended a grief class this summer, I was in a small group of women who read and discussed the book Motherless Daughters by Hope Edelman. I would highly recommend the book for anyone who has experienced mother-loss at any age. One of the stories I identified with was one the author herself shared. Her mother passed away after a courageous battle with cancer when Hope was just seventeen years old. She tells about the time she was helping pack up her mother's clothes. She writes, "I did it deliberately and mechanically, carefully unfolding and refolding each sweater, waiting for the goodbye note she never wrote to flutter to the floor." When I read that sentence, I closed the book and took a deep breath. I had just done that exact thing. As I had gone through my mom's things, I checked each coat pocket or purse looking for a note to fall to the floor. And in the months since then, I still have longed to hear her say, "I love you" or "I'm proud of the woman you became" or "I'm so glad you are my daughter". These are the things I wish I could hear one more time.

Then, just last weekend I decided to clean out and organize my closet. I was ready to really purge myself of some clothes and shoes. As I worked, I discovered an old Converse shoe box on a top shelf. The lid was dusty, so I brushed it off and looked inside. I discovered all kinds of things-- my old green and gold beanie from my freshman year of college, a few old photos, some special notes from friends in high school, a collection of letters my dad wrote to me as he worked away from home, and then there were the cards. I found a mix of birthday cards and "just because cards"-- about six in all. Each one was from my mom. The years ranged from 1988 to 1999. I hadn't looked at them in a very long time. In fact I had completely forgotten about them! I suppose I saved these particular cards because my mom had written extensive notes to me in each one.

I opened the first card and there they were--the words I so wanted to hear. Only instead of spoken, they were written in her perfect cursive handwriting.

"I love you, Em!"

"I want you to know that I'm very proud of you-- the inside and outside of you."

"I wanted to give you a permanent reminder that I wouldn't trade you for ANYONE!"

"Remember that no matter where you lay your head at night you are much loved at home."

"Just wanted to let you know how important you are to me."

"I pray for you everyday!'

"I love you!"

I read through each card thanking God that I was able to hear her voice once again.

One Of The Many Reasons I Married Mike

2012-01-28T19:46:00.000-08:00

One of the many reasons I married Mike is his ability to remain calm in a stressful situation. I'll give you an example from today of this very thing.

I was going to meet a friend of mine for lunch at
11:00 at a nearby mall. As I pulled into the busy mall parking lot, I spotted an open parking space just a few spots back from a main entrance. The spot was a bit tight as it was flanked on either side by large pick-up trucks. But I thought I could fit, so I went for it. Shortly after I turned the wheel and started moving forward I heard a horrible scraping/metal-crunching sound coming from the passenger side door of my mini-van. Not good. I panicked and immediately backed out. Instantly my palms started to sweat and my heart rate sped up considerably. I quickly looked at the bumper of the white Ford F250 I had hit. It appeared to be fine, but my fight or flight instinct kicked in and flight won out. I immediately drove to the other side of the mall, parked, and assessed the damage of my own vehicle. Unfortunately, our van didn't fare as well as the truck, which had some sort of metal bumper thing sticking out the back of it. I had decent sized scrape down my passenger side door. A noticeable scratch. Ugh.

I found my friend and told her I needed to go home and show Mike. She had some shopping to do, so she stayed at the mall and I drove home crying all the way. Why did I think I could fit into that parking space!?!
I was beating myself up the whole way there. When I got home all I wanted to do was go crawl under my covers for awhile, but instead I showed Mike the damage and told him the story.

This is why I love him-- he didn't yell at me or make me feel bad. He was calm. He hugged me. He told me that it would be okay. Then he turned his concern to the other truck involved. I told him I couldn't say with 100% certainty that it hadn't received any damage. I had quickly looked at it and sped away in shame. I think that is why I felt so bad about the situation. I was having a bit of guilt about "fleeing the scene of the crime." So my sweet husband drove back to the mall, found the truck still there, examined it thoroughly, and determined that in fact no damage had occurred. It made me feel so much better.

Thankfully, I was able to still meet my friend for lunch-- just a little later than planned. And yes, it stinks that we will have to pay to have the dent fixed some day, but overall I can walk away thankful for a husband who stays calm in a crisis, and who isn't afraid to do the right thing.

Seeing Myself In Her Eyes

2012-01-27T21:31:00.000-08:00

Hannah in the car

Hannah has been battling a cold. Her nose has been both stuffy and runny and she has constantly been wiping at it. Because of that the skin between her nose and upper lip is bright red and very chapped. We've been treating the area with aquaphor and encouraging her to "dab not rub", but apparently kids at school noticed her chapped lip this week and have been asking questions about it. She hasn't acted like the questions bothered her too much, but tonight she said it really embarrasses her when people say, "What's wrong with your lip?" I get it. I was just like her when I was little. I was quiet and didn't like any attention focused on me. This might explain why I cried when I was told I needed glasses at age ten. I didn't want anyone staring at me or asking me about them. Leah is the complete opposite-- she likes to have attention focused on her. She shines in the spotlight where Hannah and I avoid it at all costs. Which brings me to a story.....

My seventh grade year was the worst year of my school career. Starting junior high, acne, braces, bad hair, insecurity, social cliques....need I say more? Well, things got worse for me in May of my seventh grade year. We were all required to take a speech class. The class was designed to help us overcome our fears about public speaking and ultimately gain self-confidence. To me, it was a nightmare. To stand up in front of others and speak! I would rather undergo some sort of oral surgery than stand in front of a class of my peers. They would look at me, judge me, dissect my outfit, my hair and possibly say mean things to me. Our last class assignment of the year was to memorize and then deliver a monologue in front of the class. I received my monologue and spent a few weeks practicing, hoping a sinkhole would somehow swallow up my school so I wouldn't have to actually go through with performing it. Around the same time I was practicing, I noticed a bump on my lower lip. Over a few days, the bump grew and started to crust over. My mom thought it was a cold sore, so we treated it with various over-the-counter remedies, but with no success. In fact, more bumps appeared on my lip and my chin. They oozed and would crust over and were even painful. Going to school became torturous. "What is on your lip? Gross, what is on your chin?" I was mortified and embarrassed. Finally my mom took me to a dermatologist who diagnosed it to be impetigo. I was given a prescription and told it would go away within a week.

But wait....I had to perform my stupid monologue! In front of the class! With these horrible sores on my face! My mom talked to my teacher, but nothing could be done about switching my performance date. It was the end of the year and grades had to be tallied by a certain date. I was one of the last to perform, so it was do or die. The day arrived and I was beyond nervous. Speech was the last class of the day for me, and I watched the hours tick by with a sick pit in my stomach. Finally the time came and I found myself standing in front of my class and my teacher telling me to begin. For a brief moment all I could feel were the sores on my face. They felt enormous and gross. But I had no choice. I began my monologue and did the best I could do. Thankfully, no one said anything to me about my skin issue and I went home relieved.

The next day my mom allowed me to do something that only happened once in my entire "school career". She let me stay home for no good reason. I wasn't running a fever. I wasn't throwing up. We weren't going out of town. She just knew I needed a day off from school. From the embarrassment of my chin. She knew she was giving me a reprieve from the questions and stares. And for that I was so very grateful.

I guess I shared that story because I understood Hannah's tears tonight.

PS-- The sores did clear up quickly once I started the medication, and I've never had impetigo again. Also, looking back, I should have stayed home because impetigo is highly contagious. Live and learn.

Butterfly Ball

2012-01-26T20:32:00.000-08:00

Tonight was a big night for my girls. They went to their first ever Father-Daughter dance! Every winter the girls' elementary school hosts "The Butterfly Ball" which is a school fundraising event, but one that the girls in the school really look forward to. Last year we didn't go. Mainly because we were consumed with my mom's illness and the girls were just in kindergarten, so we opted out. This year, Leah came home and announced, "Mom! I have something very, very importanent (this is how she says "important") to tell you! We get to go to a Ball! A real Ball, like Cinderella!!!" How could we resist such unbridled joy? So today, the girls put on their fanciest dresses, and Mike wore a tie, and Daddy and his two beautiful daughters went to a ball. The girls danced along with their friends and Mike endured small talk with the other dads there. He even got in a dance with each girl. I'm sure it will be something they will always remember. And I hope they always see their dad as their first Prince Charming.

Hannah ready to go to the ball!

Leah posing for the camera

Mike sent me this pic of Hannah cutting a rug on the dance floor.

He said they had a lot of fun.

These Quirky Kids Of Mine

2012-01-25T20:40:00.001-08:00

Sometimes the things that come out of my kids' mouths crack me up. Sometimes it is what they do that puts a smile on my face. Daily I am reminded of how wonderful and quirky they are.

Take, for example, this conversation with Leah about her two special pink blankets she sleeps with every night.

Leah: "Mom, can you wash my blankets today? They stink."

Me: "Sure, it is probably time to wash them."

Leah: "Yeah, they smell like an upside down dirty dog."

What?!

And Lucas is even getting in on the quirkiness. Lately he has been obsessed with wearing a pair of pajamas that have basketballs, soccer balls and footballs all over them. He calls them his "ball jammies" and wants to wear them ALL the time. This past weekend, we put them on Friday night before bed, he wore them all day on Saturday, and Sunday morning we convinced him to put jeans on, but the pajama top stayed on for church. We finally got him to take them off for a bath later Sunday night. Like I said, he wants to wear them all the time.

I think it is the quirky things they say and do that make them so very unique and special to me.

Easy Dinner

2012-01-24T19:18:00.000-08:00

How do you menu plan at your house? Do you plan meals for a week, then shop for those ingredients? Are you one of those people who spend an entire Saturday cooking massive quantities of food to freeze and use throughout the month? Or do you just show up at the store and walk the aisles hoping to find inspiration?

I have always been a list person. I like a plan, and I like to check things off. So for me, on Sunday I make a list of meals to fix for the week ahead. I look at our calendar and decide which nights are busy and need a quick fix meal and which nights I can do a little more labor intensive cooking. If Mike and I have a date night planned, I make sure I have something kid friendly on hand so my dad can feed them easily. Then I make a list of all the ingredients I need plus any staple items we are low on, and head to the store with my list in hand.

Most week nights I attempt to make something easy and quick and crowd pleasing. And pleasing this crowd is not easy. There are a handful of meals that I know I can go to for an easy dinner that everyone will like. For us, taco salad is one of them. When I announce that taco salad is for dinner I am met with cheers and shouts of joy. Sometimes dancing occurs. That's how much my kids love taco salad. I think it has something to do with them being able to assemble their own bowl of food. That and their intense love of guacamole. They could eat a bowl of that alone.

Here's what we put out for our taco salad assembly:

1. Tortilla chips (what kid doesn't like crushing up their own chips?)

2. Seasoned meat

3. Beans (pintos or black beans are great)

4. Lettuce

5. Tomato

6. Onions

7. Sour Cream

8. Cheddar Cheese

9. Homemade guacamole (pre-packaged store bought doesn't cut it in our opinion)

10. Taco sauce or salsa

Leah puts everything on her salad. Hannah just omits the onions. Lucas likes whatever we give him as long as guacamole is involved. Our kids ask for seconds and lick their bowls clean. Everyone leaves the table full and happy with no complaints. And that makes me pretty darn happy!

Image from here

"Extremely" Good Movie (And Book)

2012-01-23T09:19:00.000-08:00

A few years ago, I read the book Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer. I know I reviewed it here on this blog somewhere, but I can't find that post. If I do, I'll come back and add a link. Anyway....I loved the book. It was deeply moving and yet at times quite funny. It is written from the perspective of eleven year old Oskar Schell, an intelligent, yet socially awkward boy grieving the loss of his father on 9/11. The book is written in a quirky way, often going off on tangents to explore Oskar's latest invention (like a suit made out of bird seed, so birds could pick him up allowing him to fly).

Oskar lives in New York City with his mother, while his paternal grandmother lives across the street. She rents a room in her apartment to an older gentlemen known only as "The Renter." Nearly a year after his father dies, Oskar finally goes into his dad's closet. While there, he knocks over a blue vase which shatters on the floor. As Oskar leans down to pick up the mess, he notices a strange key. It was inside a small envelope labeled "Black". Oskar decides he must find the lock that fits this key. He just knows that if he can find the lock, he will be able to make sense of his father's death and will still be able to feel close and connected to him. He soon devises a plan-- he decides to visit every single person in New York City with the last name "Black" hoping someone will know about the key. On his journey he meets many interesting people, each with their own story to tell. Oskar also crosses paths with The Renter, who ends up joining Oskar on his quest. At this point in the book, The Renter takes over the narration and shares his own story with the reader-- a sad story that shows the connection between Oskar and himself. In the end, the perspective shifts back to Oskar as he finishes his quest for the lost key, and comes to terms with his father's death knowing it will never make sense.

Yesterday I met up with my friend Jacquelyn (who originally loaned me the book) so we could see how such a complex and unique novel could translate onto the big screen. Usually, I like the book better, but in this case I can't say that. I can't say I liked the film better either. I can only say I liked both equally. I thought the movie was breathtaking. The little boy who portrayed Oskar did a phenomenal job with such a difficult character. And of course Tom Hanks and Sandra Bullock did a great job playing Oskar's parents. The cinematography was also beautiful capturing the different burrows of New York City perfectly as Oskar makes his journey.

One thing I wasn't prepared for was how well I identified in the grief process with little Oskar. I read the book when my mom was still alive, so I didn't have that connection to him when I read the book. But with the movie, I felt his pain as intensely as my own. I wanted to reach out and hug him and say, "I get it!" When Oskar enters his father's closet and sees all his clothes still hanging, he grabs hold of a shirt, leans in and rubs his face on the sleeve, trying to smell his father's scent. I have stood in my mother's closet and done the same exact thing. Like I was looking for some way to feel close to her again. Maybe that's one reason why I liked it so much. While some might consider it too sappy or sentimental, I enjoyed it, and would highly recommend seeing the film.

PS-- Check our my friend Sue's blog. She also reviewed the movie today!

An Idea

2012-01-21T20:17:00.000-08:00

I had an idea early last year. But after my mom died, the idea got put on the back burner. The way back burner. I had to go through a summer of learning how to breathe again, then school started and I was still healing, and that brings me to the beginning of 2012. I am at a place now in my grief where I am crying less (which means maybe twice a day instead of ten times a day). A place where I am ready to really try to remember and honor my mom without the stabbing pain of loss in my heart. It's a minor throbbing now, not quite so acute as it was initially.

So you want to know my idea? It is still in the formulating process, so I'm not sure what to really call it. I guess the simple thing to say is I would like to write a book. Not a novel (I'm totally not ready for that yet). I'm thinking about writing a book that is part cookbook, part vignettes, part photography, and part grief counseling. Let me explain. I was going through my cookbooks one day last year trying to cull down my collection. In the process I rediscovered my Grandma's old yellow spiral notebook with tons of her handwritten recipes throughout. This got me thinking about all the special meals I shared with the two most influential women in my life-- my mom and my grandma. I ended up writing down a list of the most special meals these women made for me. From my Grandma's famous sweet and sour pork to my mom's pie crust recipe to the birthday meal my mom prepared for me every single year, I discovered that each recipe had a good story behind it. The idea comes together in that way-- I envision a page with a recipe, a page with a story, a page with photography and then repeat. The photography might be pictures from the past, but it could also be photos of me as I try to recreate these special meals. Somehow through cooking and writing and sharing a meal with my own family and friends, these beautiful women's memory can live on.

Well, now the idea is out there. Out there for all of you to know about. I guess I just wanted to share what has been on my mind. I have no deadline for myself, but I've got my feet wet by doing some research and writing a bit to get myself started. I think this could also help with the healing process. I'm sure there will be plenty more tears, but maybe by the end of it, I will be able to look at the result and smile.

Monkey See, Monkey Do

2012-01-20T20:35:00.000-08:00

We all know that children are master imitators. I hear my own kids repeating phrases that I say with the inflection that I say it with. I see my girls doing things around the house that I do, and taking up hobbies that I like. They obviously are their own individuals and will never be exact replicas of anyone, but of course these kids of ours are going to imitate the adults they are around the most. This makes us more aware of how we act, what we say, and how we treat others. With our girls I am constantly hoping I set a good example of what a wife, mother and friend should look like.

This being our first go round with a little boy, however, it has been interesting for me to watch Lucas imitate Mike. I read once that at age two, a child starts to really identify with the parent of the same sex. Girls start watching their moms to learn "this is what girls do" and boys start watching their dads to gain clues to how guys act. Lucas has always been a snuggly mommy's boy (which I love), and he has always loved his daddy. But recently he has really been following Daddy around, wanting to do whatever Mike is doing.

Tonight, Mike replaced the old faucet in our kitchen sink with a cool new modern one. This involved tools and water and general grunts and groans from Mike as he wrangled off the old faucet and installed the new one. Lucas was enthralled. He sat on the floor by Mike pretending to fix the sink too. He kept saying, "I'm working, Mom!" He would pick up a pair of pliers and say to himself, "Now what I gonna do?" It was really cute.

Lucas "working" next to daddy

He was so sad when bedtime finally came and he had to stop his job to go to sleep. There were some tears, but he fell asleep quickly after getting to stay up a little later than usual to help Dad.

What was I doing, you ask? Well since the guys were being so manly, Hannah, Leah and I made a pallet on the floor and watched an American Girl Movie about Molly McIntire. We oooohed and ahhhhed at all the cute dresses and discussed the dance routine and snuggled up together all cozy by the fire.

I sure love my girls and my boys.

Wolf Head

2012-01-19T20:55:00.000-08:00

Tonight we got out yet again! Two nights in a row out on the town is some sort of record for us. It's just how things worked out, but we are so glad we were able to go to the Oklahoma City premier of the film Wolf Head. If you remember back in March, April, May and June of last year, Mike would be out filming for an entire weekend working on this movie. He gave up countless hours to be a part of a funny and creative team that put this feature film together. After nearly a year, we were able to see it on the big screen tonight. 400+ people showed up for the premier too! It was great. Here's a link to see the official movie trailer.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dDfid84_F04

My friends Beth and Nikki came to support the film

I'm so proud of Mike and all the actors and crew for putting together a great movie!

The Addams Family

2012-01-18T21:58:00.001-08:00

I just got in late from an interesting night out. My friend Nikki and I went to see the traveling Broadway production of The Addams Family. Of all the musicals I have seen, this was by far the most unusual. I can't say it was my favorite. Here are some facts (and opinions) about what we saw tonight.

* All the performers did a really good job of embracing their characters.

* At any given moment we thought Morticia was going to have a wardrobe malfunction.

* Uncle Fester sang a really odd song about how much he loved the moon. Like he was "in love" with the moon and appreciated their long distance relationship.

* Wednesday Addams married a normal guy named Lucas.

* The storyline was a bit weak.

* Grandma Addams smokes weed.

* The couple sitting in front of us left at intermission and never returned.

* There was a song that made reference to Charlie Sheen.

* Lurch, the butler, breaks out into song and dance at the end.

* It was still fun to have a night out!

Saying Sorry

2012-01-17T19:38:00.000-08:00

Saying the words "I'm sorry" is hard. Well, actually the words are not so hard as the actual feeling that goes behind the words. If it is hard for an adult to admit a fault and ask forgiveness, how much harder for a seven year old or a two year old! Training a child to be humble and repentant and quick to forgive can be a tough job. My girls are finally "getting it" most of the time. They know that saying "I'm sorry" is not a magic phrase that can be yelled nonchalantly. They know that they have to look someone in the eye and really mean it and hug it out. Sometimes Hannah will be honest and tell me, "I can't say I'm sorry because I don't feel it yet." In that case, I send her to her room to cool off. She always comes around though and can honestly ask for forgiveness. I want my kids to know that we expect everyone to treat fellow family members with the utmost respect. In fact, we should really love others better than we love our own selves (I'm still working on this one!). I have read that the best preparation for marriage is having successful relationships with your siblings. You have to learn to work things out, share, compromise, and forgive. I pray that we are starting our kids off on the right track!

All this talk about your saying sorry reminds me of a video I took yesterday. A few minutes prior to shooting it, Lucas had hit Hannah over the head. I told him to tell Hannah he was sorry, but he's still not quite sure how to handle that. He's learning. Shortly after that incident, I shot this video and captured his spontaneous "I'm sorry" moment.

I will transcribe the video for you.

Me: Will you tell Hannah you're sorry?

Lucas: dramatic pause......Nope

Me: Why not?

Lucas: I catch! I run! I throw! I telephone (?)

*Silly noises*

*Exploding noise*

I'm sorry.

*Hugs Hannah*
Hannah: It's okay.

Leah: There you go! He finally said sorry!
BYE!

Adjusting

2012-01-16T19:18:00.000-08:00

The kids and I met Mike for lunch today near his office. He works on the top floor of the tall building in the background. He has a pretty great view of the city from up there!

It has been three months since Mike went back to work, and our adjusting period is just about over. I use the word adjusting because he had previously been working from home. Working from home comes with its own set of challenges, both financially and personally, but overall it was a great experience; one we would not change. The best thing about working from home was by far Mike's flexible schedule. He could take off whenever he wanted. This came in very handy when we wanted to spontaneously take the kids to the zoo for the day. If I had a dentist appointment in the afternoon, Mike was available to watch Lucas so I didn't have to arrange for a babysitter. And we even took a ten day road trip this summer without the worry of him rushing back into the rat race of work.

But as time went on, we knew it was time to move on. Mike started working at an advertising agency on November 14th and after three months has finally settled in and really loves what he is doing. The adjustment at home hit a few rocky patches, but I think we are finally used to his new 9 to 6 schedule. Lucas and the girls are so excited to see their Dad when he walks through the door, and most nights we are able to all sit down at the table and eat dinner together, discussing our day. I guess you could say this time has been like breaking in new shoes. At first they are a little uncomfortable, but eventually they soften and give and become comfortable.

Big Boy Bed

2012-01-14T20:49:00.000-08:00

About a week ago, Lucas learned how to crawl out of his crib-- a skill his sisters learned at about 18 months old, so I am glad he waited until age 2 1/2! After the girls crawled out, nap time and bedtime became the hardest parts of my day. And they stayed that way until the girls were 6. Well, the girls stopped napping at age 3, but bedtime has been a challenge for sure. I'm telling myself it was because there were two of them. It's more fun to whisper and giggle and jump off your beds when you have a partner in crime. I'm hoping that because Lucas will be alone in his room, he'll still fall asleep easily. In general, he's been a much better sleeper than either of my girls. Like his mama, he enjoys sleep and understands how wonderful it is. :)

I think I would have kept Lucas in his crib until kindergarten if he hadn't learned how to crawl out though. I liked knowing he was safe and "stuck" in there. But alas, he has decided to grow up. Funny how kids do that! So this weekend's project has been all about turning his baby room into a big boy's room. This of course began with taking down his crib and putting up his "big boy bed". My dad had an extra twin bed at his house, so we used that and just bought a simple dark blue quilt at Target. We still have some furniture rearranging to do as well as curtains and new artwork to hang. But tonight, the bed is up, and he is sound asleep under the covers in his new grown up bed. It's a bittersweet night for me-- letting go of the past and embracing the future.

His crib before we took it down today.

We used this crib with the girls too (we had two, but we gave one away).

Ready to go to sleep!

Leah was excited for him!

Sound asleep

Sweet dreams, my big boy!

While Mike is still working on my new blog header, I am going to play with a few new ones. Just so you know, this one is just temporary! :)

Playtime With Play-Doh

2012-01-13T18:56:00.001-08:00

Yesterday Lucas and I had played with just about everything-- Cars, trains, blocks, Legos, dinosaurs, and superheroes. What else could we do? I was out of ideas. But then I remembered a pack of Play-Doh Lucas had received for Christmas. So we opened a few jars and got to work. We had such a good time together, just me and my boy, playing with something as simple as Play-Doh. We made snakes, and basketballs, and ice cream sundaes. He smashed colors together and smiled the whole time. It is in these simple playtimes that I am reminded just how grateful I am to be able to stay home with these kids of mine. I don't want to miss a single precious grin.

The Ram Story

2012-01-12T20:27:00.000-08:00

My girls LOVE to hear a good story. On a daily basis we hear, "Tell me a story when you were a little girl!" And I usually oblige. I understand their love of storytelling because I was the same way when I was young. I loved hearing stories of my parents' childhoods. Like my mom's story about making "toothpaste" in the bathroom sink using everything from peanut butter to mouthwash. Or my dad's story about his beloved horse, RIP. I'll save those two for another blog post. Today, I am going to tell you another one of my favorite stories, and a favorite of my girls' too. We call it "The Ram Story". And it goes like this....

When I was about six years old, my mom and dad and I went on an overnight camping trip on the Brazos River near Graham, Texas. We lived in Graham at the time, and the Brazos is a popular river to camp near, canoe or float down, go fishing in,etc. For this trip, we decided to go canoeing. We packed light, just a tent, some sleeping bags, and a few food essentials. Soon we headed out on our adventure. My dad and mom sat at the ends of the canoe guiding our journey, while I relaxed in the middle. I remember that it was warm and humid, the sky overcast and cloudy, and brilliantly colored dragonflies kept landing on the canoe's edge.

Eventually we found a small island in the middle of the river just the right size for us to set up camp. Dinner was cooked up on our small stove, and we spent the night snuggled together in our tent, listening to the summer sounds around us. I felt so safe sleeping between my mom and dad, warm and cozy in my sleeping bag.

The next day, we packed up and set out int the canoe once again. Shortly after we were cruising down the river, we heard a strange noise. Thankfully, the current was not too strong, and we slowed down, straining our ears to hear the noise again. There it was! We heard it again! It sounded like an injured animal, so we listened again, our eyes straining to see the shoreline. We paddled over to the side where the noise was coming from and discovered a large ram stuck in a barbed wire fence. My dad paddled us close enough so that the front of the canoe came to rest on the dry ground. He stepped out and moved carefully toward the scared animal. We didn't know how long the poor thing had been there. A few days maybe. He had to be hungry and fearful and on edge. My dad has a way with animals, though, and after a few "Shhh...Shhhh..." noises, the ram settled down and allowed my dad to help free him from the wire fence. I imagine there was a moment where the ram looked my dad in the eyes and they mentally shared an exchange of words.

Ram, "Thank you for saving my life, Sir. I am eternally grateful."
Dad, "It was my pleasure, noble creature. Go live in peace."

My parents named the ram "Abraham" and the story has lived on for years as we tell it over and over to my girls. We imagine that Old Abe had a long and wonderful life. Perhaps even now, if you were to take a trip to Texas, you might see one of his offspring proudly standing on the banks of the Brazos River.

Love and Faithfulness

2012-01-11T17:51:00.000-08:00

I read a verse the other day and it has really stuck with me. It might just be my verse for the year.

"Let love and faithfulness never leave you;

bind them around your neck

write them on the tablet of your heart."

--Proverbs 3:3

I love the imagery of this verse. To bind something around your neck and write it on your heart is pretty strong language! I like how the verse doesn't say "let love and faithfulness be around you sometimes". Or display "love and faithfulness only when you feel like it". Or only when someone deserves it. Or only when it benefits you to do so. Nope. It says to let love and faithfulness NEVER leave you. That means when it is easy to love someone or when it is difficult. And then to put an exclamation mark on that thought, it goes on to say BIND them around your neck and WRITE them on the tablet of your heart.

Since my mom passed away, the fact that you can't take your things with you when you go has come into sharp focus for me. It has also become crystal clear that what really matters-- what really, really, really matters after you die is the legacy you leave behind. When my time on earth is over, I hope the legacy I have left to my children and grandchildren is a legacy of love and faithfulness. Oh Lord, help me to bind these two traits around my neck so that I will always be aware of them. And carve them deep into the tablet of my heart so that they become as natural to me as breathing.

Do you have a verse or a word for the year? Do share!

Organization

2012-01-10T17:39:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I mentioned that it was a busy day. I also mentioned that I organized my pantry shelves. I have a slight obsession with organization. In a perfect world, every drawer and closet and basket in my house would be perfectly sorted and put away. Things would not be thrown willy-nilly into a drawer, but rather they would rest peacefully in their designated space. If someone asked for scissors, I could mosey over to a drawer and whip them out in no time. A nail file? Well, right here. Salad tongs? So glad you asked. Unfortunately, I do not live in a perfect world. Things do get shoved and tossed into places at the last minute. And then when someone does actually ask for salad tongs I have a slight moment of panic when I think, "Where did I stash those things?" I want to be organized, but then life gets in the way and well....I guess I have no excuse.

I think part of my problem is that when I find myself with a few hours to actually work, I feel the need to organize my entire house. This isn't realistic at all, so then I don't do anything and avoid the situation all together. I hate to start a project and not be able to finish it. Yesterday, I had just had it with my pantry. The nail in the coffin was when I grabbed a cookbook off of a shelf which caused all the other cookbooks to fall which pushed a box of vanilla wafers on the ground which tipped over and spilled the remaining cookies and crumbs all over the floor. In addition, a jug of maple syrup had leaked all over causing a sticky mess. I had had enough!

I started by pulling every single thing out of the pantry. I used the hose attachment on my vacuum cleaner to suck up any crumbs, then used a damp rag to wipe off all the shelves. I went through my food items, throwing away anything expired or questionable looking. Then I carefully rethought where everything was placed. I moved my spices to a lazy-susan at eye-level. I decided to keep my cookbooks somewhere else. I put all my baking items together on one shelf. I used some plastic containers to group things like pasta and spice packets together. And in the end, I was pleased with the result!

Ta-da! It may not look like much, but it is a big deal to me.

After reflecting on my work, I came to this conclusion-- choose one thing to work on at a time. Yesterday it was the pantry. Today I plan on tackling my closet. Tomorrow it could be the pesky "junk drawer" in the kitchen. You know-- the one with scissors, tape, pens, pencils, and an assortment of random receipts and papers? Yes, that one. We all have one. Trying to organize everything in one day is just too overwhelming, and frankly not possible. Have you ever heard the saying, "How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time." I think I get it. I guess I took one small bite yesterday.

** Side note-- I would never advocate eating an actual elephant. That's just not right. :)

Manic Monday

2012-01-09T20:01:00.001-08:00

Whoever thinks being a stay-at-home mom is all about living the life of luxury is seriously misinformed. Here's a run down of my manic Monday.

6:45- Wake up, shower, feed the cats, get dressed, make breakfast, pack lunches, get kids dressed, teeth brushed, and shoes and backpacks on before walking out the door

8:40-Drop girls off at school

9:15- Drop Lucas off at school

9:40- Arrive at grocery store, ready to shop, cruise the aisles in a mission!

11:00- Arrive at home, unload groceries, clean out refrigerator, put groceries away, change the sheets in Lukey's bed, start a load of laundry

12:30-- Take a break to meet Mike at Whole Foods for lunch and a moment to slow down a bit.

1:30- Swing by parents' house to work on organizing and going through a few of my mom's things

2:30- Pick Lucas up from school, go home, feed him a snack, play and snuggle, start an episode of Little Bear (his current fave), start to organize the kitchen pantry

4:00- Girls walk in the door after riding the bus home, go through backpacks, start homework, feed snacks, send them off to play so I can finish organizing the pantry

5:00- Start dinner (tonight's menu was spaghetti with homemade sauce, salad, and garlic bread), my dad comes by for dinner

6:15- Mike arrives at home,plays with kids a bit, we all sit down and eat

6:45- Start kitchen clean up while kids eat dessert and play with Papa

7:30- Kids put on pajamas, brush teeth, read stories, and finish homework

8:30- Kids go to bed, finish up last few chores like picking up toys, wiping down kitchen counters, putting laundry in the dryer, and taking care of the cat box (gross)

9:30- wash my face, brush my teeth, and crawl into bed where I plan to read, work on my Acts Bible study and
write this blog!

I am tired, folks!

Eventually around 11:00 I will fall asleep, but before I do I will leave you with one photo from my busy day. It is from lunch, when I was able to sit still and have a short amount of down time.
And I might add that lunch was darn tasty. Especially the tomato-zucchini soup. So good, I tell you!

What was your Monday like?

Scope For The Imagination

2012-01-07T20:34:00.000-08:00

Isn't it splendid to think of all the things there are to find out about?

It just makes me feel glad to be alive--

it's such an interesting world.

It wouldn't be half so interesting if we know all about everything, would it?

There'd be no scope for the imagination then, would there?

-- Lucy Maud Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables

Spring in January?

2012-01-06T16:57:00.000-08:00

We are confused here. Did we skip winter and head straight into spring? My calendar says January, but it feels more like mid-March outside. I think the high for today was near 70 degrees. It was a bit windy (always), but the sun was out and jackets were shed. We couldn't resist being outside today. Lucas and I played at a playground near my gym this morning, then when the girls got home from school this afternoon, we rode our bikes to our neighborhood park for more fun in the sun. The girls instantly went into "imaginative play mode" by pretending they were pirates on a ship. I kept hearing them say things like, "Drop the anchor!" and "Ahoy!" This drama was unfolding while Lucas spent his time doing the following things:

Climbing

Running

(Hannah was pretending to be an injured pirate by the way)

And watching

Tomorrow we plan to spend more time outside before a cold front moves in mid-week bringing us back to the reality of January. Perhaps we'll make it through winter without a major ice storm this year? Knock on wood?

A Putting Up And A Taking Down

2012-01-05T20:42:00.000-08:00

Today as I (finally) took down the ornaments from our Christmas tree, I was reminded of this passage from Ecclesiastes Chapter 3 (if you know The Byrds version, sing along!).

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:

A time to be born and a time to die

A time to plant and a time to uproot,

A time to kill and a time to heal,

A time to tear down and a time to build,

A time to weep and a time to laugh,

A time to mourn and a time to dance,

A time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,

A time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,

A time to search and a time to give up,

A time to keep and a time to throw away,

A time to tear and a time to mend,

A time to be silent and a time to speak,

A time to love and a time to hate,

A time for war and a time for peace.

Now how in the world did a pile of Christmas ornaments remind me of this passage, you ask? Well, let me tell you. As I looked at this pile of colorful ornaments, I had the thought, Didn't I just do this? Didn't I just put these away? A whole year has gone by? Really?! And it hit me just how much of our years follow a certain rhythm. You could say..."There is a time to put up Christmas decorations and a time to take them down. Followed by a time for a groundhog to see his shadow and a time for him to proclaim spring is coming early. A time to enjoy spring break and a time to return back to school. A time for swimming in the summer sun and a time for for wearing jackets. A time for a Thanksgiving meal and a time to regret eating so much. Then it's time for the Christmas decorations again!"

I like that our years have a certain predictability to them. There is comfort in the familiar and traditional things of our lives. But then I also love that each year throws in enough surprises and curve balls to keep us on our toes. I don't know how looking at a pile of ornaments inspired such deep thoughts today, but for some reason it did. I'm excited for both the comfortable rhythms and the surprises God has in store for our family this year!

Flowers, Just Because

2012-01-04T20:57:00.000-08:00

When Mike and I met back in the fall of 1996, one of the first things I noticed and immediately loved about him was his thoughtful nature. He is one of those guys that makes homemade cards and puts a lot of effort and creativity into gifts that he gives. I remember the first flowers her ever gave me. At the time I was a sophomore in college and living in a small basement room in one of the girls' dorms. Mike was a junior, also living on campus in the one men's dorm. He called me in my room one night to say he was in the lobby of my dorm. I headed upstairs excited to see him. And there he was holding a simple arrangement of red and yellow carnations in a vintage 7up bottle. We were poor college students, so carnations fit the budget, but they were bright and cheerful, and would instantly brighten up my dorm room. Mike also knew that I had a small collection of old soda bottles (they were something I always looked at when we went to antique stores). He picked it out knowing that I would appreciate this "vase" more than a traditional vase. I loved it. I remember I went down to my dorm room later and had my roommate take a picture of me holding my first flowers.

Tonight as Mike came in the door from a long day of work, he had in his hands three bouquets of flowers. One for Hannah. One for Leah. And one for me. He said they were "just because". Today isn't our anniversary or a birthday or any special reason to celebrate. It's just an average Wednesday. But somehow he always manages to take something ordinary and turn it into something special.

My flowers

Hannah and Leah's bright bouquets together in one vase

Need To Be Held

2012-01-03T21:31:00.000-08:00

This is a picture of Hannah when we stopped for lunch in New York City almost two weeks ago. I posted it the day I took it, but I'm posting it again because I love it. I love the sweet, yet somewhat grown-up expression on her face. I love the way the light falls across her face, and I love the city in the background. I imagine her as a young college student stopping by for a quick by to eat with some of her friends. I have so many hopes and dreams for my little girl. She is thoughtful, careful and precise. She loves to draw, write, read and create. In a crowd, she is quiet and reserved, but she smiles easily and loves to join in on a game or competition. In some ways, she is wise beyond her years, and I forget that she is only seven.

But then there are days like yesterday. Let's just say that her attitude was less than stellar. She was whining, bossy with her sister, and emotionally breaking down at every little turn in our day. It was clear by late afternoon that she needed some time alone in her room to calm down. She tearfully stormed off and flopped down on her bed sobbing. I gave her a good ten minutes by herself, then took a deep breath and went in to have a little heart to heart with my fragile girl. By then she was ready to listen, and we ended up having a good conversation. She apologized for her attitude and I said I forgave her and kissed her little forehead. Then she hit me with this...."Mom, can you just hold me for awhile? Sometimes kids just need their moms to hold them."

Be still my heart. Yes, sweetheart, I will hold you. I will always hold you.

And so she crawled in my lap, wrapped her arms around me and put her head on my chest. And there we sat. The late afternoon sun was shining through the blinds in the window; the only sound was the tick of the clock on the wall of her room. I could feel her breathing. After a few minutes, she was ready to move on, and our evening went along smoothly. Sometimes we just need our moms to hold us.

I sure love that little girl.

I'm Saying The Word "Resolution"

2012-01-02T19:26:00.000-08:00

I know, I know....the word "resolutions" is controversial at this time of year. Do we call them resolutions? Goals? Aspirations? Dreams? Whatever you want to call them, I think they are important. It's important to have something to work toward, to strive to attain. I always go into making this list with a lot of grace. I will probably not meet all of these resolutions/goals. And I'm okay with that. In general, I don't beat myself up for things. And looking over last year's resolution post, I am happy to say that I achieved quite a few of them (yay!), while others completely by the wayside. No biggie. Let's keep on keeping on this year and see where that leads. Sounds good to me!

So, in no particular order, here are twelve of my resolutions for 2012:

1. Continue to maintain a consistent time in God's Word
2. Get in bed earlier
3. Read more
4. Continue to work on cookbook/writing project
5. Not worry about what other people think about me
6. Have monthly date nights with Mike
7. Add variety to date nights-- i.e. go to plays, try new restaurants, check out a museum, see a concert etc.
8. Continue to exercise twice weekly (three would be a bonus!)
9. Write hand written notes to others (stealing this one from Jacquelyn because I love it!)
10. Incorporate healthier meals into our weekly meal plan
11. Begin reading the Little House on the Prairie book series with Hannah and Leah
12. Meet monthly for lunch with my mentor

In addition, I am happy to say that I plan to continue to blog daily this year, with one exception. Sunday. I plan on taking Sundays off for this year to really try to take one thing (however small) off my plate that day. Also, Mike is working on a new blog header for me, so look for that soon. I've been using the good old free templates from Blogger for almost four years now. It's time for a more updated look, I do believe. Looking forward to that!

More importantly, I just wanted to say a big THANK YOU as I begin a new year. Last year was so full of ups and downs for me. It truly was the most difficult year of my life thus far. So thank you to all my readers who faithfully encouraged and prayed for me last year. I am incredibly humbled and grateful for each of you. It has been very therapeutic to write, and I appreciate you coming with me on my journey. Love to you all!

OK, 2012....bring it on!!!!

Happy New Year

2012-01-01T18:09:00.000-08:00

"Be always at war with your vices,

at peace with your neighbors,

and let each New Year find you a better person."

-- Benjamin Franklin

Cheers to a wonderful 2012!

2011 Review July-December

2011-12-31T15:21:00.000-08:00

JULY

July was a busy month. We celebrated the Fourth with friends and a fireworks show. We went to the lake and enjoyed time out on the water. Lucas turned 2 on July 24th. And we packed our bags, loaded up the mini-van and headed out for a great American road trip!

Leah and Hannah participated in a Fourth of July Parade at church.

Lucas and I on the boat. The girls and my dad are on the tube being pulled behind us!

Leah loves the lake!

Our big vacation this year included a ten day road trip through eight different states. We stayed in Loveland, Colorado for a few days, then headed north to South Dakota where we met up with some friends in Rapid City. My dad joined us for the trip and it was great to make some fun memories together.

Lucas enjoying a warm Colorado day at the Loveland Sculpture Garden.

Happy Birthday, Lucas! We celebrated with a picnic and a swim party while in Loveland.

Snow in July!

11,000 feet above sea level at Rocky Mountain State Park.

Rock Outcropping in the Garden of the Gods in Colorado Springs.

Riding the train in Storybook Island

Rapid City, South Dakota

Me and My Main Squeeze

Our crew in the Badlands

Mike and Lucas cruising the streets of Keystone

Mt. Rushmore

AUGUST

August was a whirlwind of activity. We returned from our relaxing vacation on July 31st. Eleven days later on August 11th, Hannah and Leah started first grade! We spent those eleven days school supply shopping and trying to fit in any last minute summer fun that we could.

Two days before school started we took Hannah and Leah out without Lucas. Just a Mommy/Daddy/Sister date. We went to Spaghetti Warehouse for lunch and then followed it up with some bowling at Red Pin.

Hannah contemplating where to roll the ball.

We also made sure to make several after dinner trips to Braum's for some ice cream. These trips were usually followed up with a trip to the park. Even though it was hot, I enjoyed the longer, lazy days of summer.

SEPTEMBER

On Labor Day weekend, our niece Hailey flew in for a visit. We drove down to Pauls Valley, Oklahoma to check out the Toy and Action Figure Museum. It was really cool!

Me playing dress-up

In September we also drove down to Apache, Oklahoma to visit my dad's brothers on their ranch.

We jumped on hay bales, rode 4-wheelers, and had a cook-out.

In September, my front flower bed looked colorful and vibrant.

I just love my fuchsia crepe myrtle.

OCTOBER

October brought along golden sunshine, balmy days, football, Halloween and our annual Lake Tenkiller Trip!

Hannah "Belle" and Leah "Sleeping Beauty" at their class Harvest party

I love seeing bright orange pumpkins on the porch.

A beautiful October sunset

Sitting outside by the chiminea.

Our family at the lake

NOVEMBER

We enjoyed cooler weather and shorter days during November. It was a pretty uneventful month. We celebrated Thanksgiving at my aunt's house and put up our Christmas tree. We also started going out to look at Christmas lights!

Hannah raking the leaves for a good jumping pile on Thanksgiving

Papa and Lucas busy at work too.

Hello, sweet face!

Jumping in leaves is hard work, but someone has to do it!

DECEMBER

December ushered in another busy month. Hannah and Leah turned 7 years old on the 16th! We also took a trip to the east coast to spend Christmas with Mike's family in New Jersey and New York.

Add in Christmas parties and shopping and wrapping presents and December flew by!

Our Christmas Tree

Radio City Music Hall in New York City

The girls stopping for a photo with Woody from Toy Story

The streets of NYC are filled with characters! Ha! (pun intended)

Merry Christmas!

2011 was such a roller-coaster of a year. In a way I am glad it is over, and I am excited for a fresh start in 2012. Thank you for sharing this journey with me. See you next year!

2011 Review January-June

2011-12-30T21:27:00.000-08:00

*I love doing this year end review each year. I got the idea from my friend Maria at Little Things Are Big. She is an amazing artist, writer, wife, mother and friend. Check her out!

2011 was quite a year. A year of growth and change and heartache and joy. Here's a look back at what happened in my life. We'll take it six months at a time.

JANUARY

I started the year by making some goals. Some I kept and some I didn't.

Some I plan to add to my list for 2012.

In January, Lucas was 18 months old. He was starting to talk a little more, constantly on the run, and curious as ever.

In January the girls were halfway through kindergarten. They had just really started reading and really enjoyed school. We also got hit hard with illness last January. Leah had strep throat, Type A Flu, and ear infections all at the same time. She was so sick. I remember her falling asleep in front of the fireplace and sleeping for hours.

In January, my mom had been moved to a different hospital for physical therapy. She was weak, but we all thought recovery was still possible.

FEBRUARY

We celebrated Valentine's Day.

I turned thirty-four.

We had snow. Lots of snow for Oklahoma. School was out for a week!

The kids were cute as usual.

My mom's chest incision reopened and got infected in February. Still, her doctor sent her home where a home health nurse came every day to care for her and change the dressing on her wound vacuum. It was so nice to go visit her in her own home for awhile. She was uncomfortable, but so glad to be home.

MARCH

In March Lucas freely offered kisses and was a complete camera ham.

We had lots of warmer days with blue skies. And the Bradford Pear Treed started to bloom.

And as usual, we got lots of springtime rain. Good, earth-soaking rain.

In March, my aunt hosted a family dinner so that my mom could be a part of it. Little did I know this was the last picture we would ever take together.

At the end of March, my mom started running a fever. She was admitted back to the hospital where she was diagnosed with MRSA, a very serious form of staph. On March 27th, she had trouble breathing when her fever spiked at 105 degrees. My dad called early that morning and told me to come to the hospital right away. In a panic, I went. My friends and family members gathered in a waiting room. And we prayed. And we prayed. And we prayed. And then a nurse came in to say the fever was dropping. It was not her day to die yet.

APRIL

In April, the girls got to participate in their first ever fashion show. They had SO much fun since they love dressing up in frilly clothes.

Hannah posing on the runway.

Leah beaming.

We celebrated Easter in April. I love this family photo. We took this picture after church on Sunday morning. Afterwards we went to the hospital to visit my mom. It was the last day my girls ever saw her.

The last weekend in April, we headed out to Lake Tenkiller with two other couples for a little vacation. The weather was gorgeous and it was so good to be out in nature, breathing deep and relaxing with friends.

They day before we left for our lake trip, Lucas and I stopped by the hospital to visit my mom. Lucas was happy and smiled a lot. I remember he found a small Nerf ball and played catch with my mom and dad and me. I remember my mom was in good spirits, and I remember my mom telling her nurse all about how proud she was of her grandchildren. I remember when I left, I gave her a hug, kissed her head, and told her I loved her. She hugged me back and told me she loved me too. Then I remember taking a few steps out of her hospital room door into the hallway when she called out again, "Love you, Em!"
It was the last day I saw my sweet mom.

MAY
On May 2, 2011, my mom was released from the hospital again. Her wound was not healing. But she was healthy enough to go home and have a home health nurse care for her again. On May 2nd she slept her own bed, snuggled with her cats, and saw the flowers in her backyard starting to bloom.

On Tuesday, May 3rd, my mom complained of chest pains and said she was having trouble breathing, then she collapsed on the floor. My dad called 9-1-1. The Paramedics arrived shortly. But she was already gone. In the blink of an eye, my mom was gone.

Barbara Stafford
October 30, 1948 - May 3, 2011

I love you, Mom.

I miss you, Mom.

We had my mom's memorial service on May 6th at the same church where I got married twelve years earlier.
It was beautiful. Just like her.

Two weeks after my mom passed away, I got on a plane and flew by myself to Casper, Wyoming to visit my friend, Maria. It was a trip I had planned months earlier, obviously unaware of what would happen on May 3rd. But I still wanted to go. I needed to go, to get away. And I am so glad that I did.

Me and Maria

Maria, Eric, and Susan, thank you for embracing me like family for the weekend. I will always remember that trip with a lot of fondness and gratitude.

JUNE
In June, I started to breathe again. Slowly, but surely, I emerged from the foggy haze of May, and started to establish a new normal. And God was faithful to provide peace along the way.

June 4, 2011
Mike and I celebrated twelve years of marriage.

We broke out the water slide for the second summer in a row.
And we endured some 100 degree days. Ugh.

In June, I started going through some of my mom's things. I found some treasures along the way, like this ABC needlepoint that she created for my baby room. Lots of tears were shed.
Healing tears.

The last weekend in June we had a garage sale at my parents' house.
The girls had their first lemonade stand. I think we drank most of it ourselves!

So there you have it. The first six months of 2011 in The Galloway House.
Stay tuned for July-December tomorrow!

Home Art Gallery

2011-12-29T18:25:00.000-08:00

Yesterday afternoon, while Lucas was napping, I decided it was time to break out the girls' new watercolor paints and paper. They have been asking every day (several times a day) to use them. We spent a good hour just hanging out in the kitchen together. The girls busy at the work of creating art and me in the kitchen whipping up some chocolate chip cookies and getting dinner started.

I glanced over at their masterpieces drying on the dining room table and casually said, "You guys should have your own art gallery show." The girls looked at me and said, "Ok!" And that was that. A simple painting session plus a simple statement sparked a totally new idea. We got right to work. Leah chose the gallery name ("The Family Gallery") and painted a sign. Hannah chose the location (the hallway that leads to their bedroom) to display their works. Together they started giving each painting a title, then signed each one personally. I gave the girls some tape and a step stool which they immediately put into use. Before I knew it, the hallway was full of artwork from top to bottom. At the end, they decided that all the work on the walls looked the same (all watercolor paintings), so they pulled out some crayons and pens and did a few illustrations to show their "artistic range." They really wanted to have the gallery ready for Daddy to view when he got home from work.

And they achieved their goal. When Mike walked through the door, he was met with joyful cries of enthusiastic little artists. "Come and see what we did, Daddy!!" He patiently walked the hallway, carefully looking at each painting and making encouraging comments. When asked which ones he wanted to buy, he said, "All of them." The girls were so proud of themselves. I love it when they spend the afternoon creating and using their imagination. Who knows, maybe they will have their own sister gallery show one day?

Getting started

Hannah working on a "scary pumpkin" painting.

Leah carefully beginning a rainbow

Getting the gallery ready for opening night. It's blurry, but I liked the effect. They were like little tornadoes whirling around in a frenzy of hanging artwork.

Hannah painted her foot, then turned it into a "scary monster". She clearly had a "scary" theme going on.

Leah's multi-colored foot. I thought her use of white space was interesting. She wanted to leave the other half blank.

"Candy Factory" by Hannah

Off Brands And Impatient Shopping

2011-12-28T21:09:00.000-08:00

Do you buy off brands? Otherwise known as store brands, "the cheap brands", etc. The debate between name brand and store brand was a joke between my mom and her sister. My mom was a devoted name brand buyer. We religiously used Dial soap, Crest toothpaste, Gain laundry detergent and Downy fabric softener. My mom bought those brands no matter the cost because she liked them and she knew they worked. My aunt was not at all brand-loyal. She read the stores' sale circulars, decided what the best deal was and picked it up-- store brand or name brand. Saving money was most important to her (she was even known to have an entire kitchen drawer full of condiment packages).

I find myself as a blend of the two shopping methods. Like my mom, I find myself leaning toward brand names of things that I really, really like. But, like my aunt, I love a good deal, and have no problem buying off brands for things. I tend to make snap decisions when at the store. I quickly scan the different items and choose one that seems like the best deal at that moment. If I can't make up my mind, I just go with what I know works and then move on. I am not known for patience when it comes to shopping, which can be my downfall at times.

Take, for example, a quick trip to the store to buy a Christmas gift for my niece. We had already purchased a cute t-shirt for her, but I wanted to add a toy to the gift. What four year old is really that thrilled about a t-shirt? So we ran into a store and browsed a few aisles. I spotted some My Little Pony items and zeroed in on them. My girls still love My Little Pony, so I figured it was a sure thing to buy. The price was right on a My Little Pony "Fancy Fashions Boutique", so we bought it and took it home to wrap it up. It was then that Mike noticed I had actually picked up an off brand of My Little Pony called "Lovely Little Pony". Without even realizing it, I had picked up an off-brand (blame it on very creative packaging and my shopping impatience).

Then we read the sentence at the top of the box.

"Owning it is you best choice come to own it together!"

Yep, I was slightly embarrassed. But we got a good laugh out of it and figured my niece wouldn't know the difference (the toys still looked like fun). I showed my sister-in-law and she laughed at it too (Thanks, Rachel!). Sometimes I guess it does pay to slow down, read the labels, and go with the name brand item.
Lesson learned.

What about you? Are you brand loyal?

My Sleeping Companions

2011-12-27T20:41:00.001-08:00

These two felines have not left my side since our return from the east coast. Due to flight delays we didn't get home until 2:00 this morning. Even at that hour, they were waiting at the door for us. *Sidenote: I have been in near zombie mode all day due to lack of sleep. Not scary, flesh-eating zombie mode, but slow-moving, stumbling, blank-staring zombie mode. Just to be clear.

Anyway, now they are snuggled up with me as I sit in bed reading and blogging before turning out the lights. Tundra always sleeps with me, but Ellie (our black cat) usually sleeps with one of our daughters. Tonight, however, she has chosen me. While I am flattered that she is gracing me with her presence, I am not sure how I am going to stretch my legs out.....

Flight Home

2011-12-26T14:18:00.001-08:00

We are about to head to the Newark airport for the long flight home. Already I am missing the carefree days we spent with our family. Wish we could sneak everyone in our luggage and take them home with us. I am so thankful for the memories we made this week!

Merry Christmas

2011-12-25T13:51:00.001-08:00

Hope your day has been merry and bright!

Christmas Eve

2011-12-24T21:21:00.001-08:00

Food. Family. Presents. Love.

Merry Christmas Eve!!

Day Four

2011-12-23T21:08:00.001-08:00

Oh what a mellow day we had today. It was much needed too. We slept in and took it easy all morning and did a little shopping in the afternoon. We finished the day up with a night on the town with Mike's brother, Juan and his wife, Tracy, as well as Mike's sister, Rachel and her husband Juan (yes, I have two brother-in-laws named Juan!). We went out just the six of us--no kids! We ate dinner at a funky Mexican place called Tinga, then walked to the movie theater in Westfield where we watched the new Mission Impossible film, and capped off the evening with coffee and dessert at a fun place called Rockin Joe's. I sure do love all my brothers and sisters-in-law. We all get along so well; we laugh a lot, and I am so grateful for each of them.

Tomorrow is Christmas Eve! I can't wait! We have gift wrapping and lots of baking on the agenda.

Day Three

2011-12-22T21:17:00.001-08:00

Day three of our trip east was all about experiencing a magical Christmas experience for the kids. What could be better to kick that off then a trip to visit Santa at Macy's on 34th street! We walked through a winter wonderland of trees and toys and lights before meeting Santa himself. This wasn't just any old Santa either. It was the Santa from the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade. It seemed more special anyway. We followed Santa up with a viewing of the marionette show of Miracle on 34th Street, also at Macy's.

For lunch we found a fantastic burger joint called The Counter. You could build your own burger, toppings, bun, etc. with a wide variety of ingredients. And their sweet potato fries were to die for.

Next up we walked through Bryant Park and over to The American Doll Place. The girls received dolls for their birthday, so we let them pick out an outfit as a Christmas gift from us.They had a blast there looking at everything.

With the girls on a high from the thrill of the doll store, we needed some down time. Saint Patrick's Cathedral provided the perfect respite. We spent a while just resting and wandering around. I had forgotten how peaceful it is. Even in the midst of the busy holiday season.

We planned on ending our day with a trip to Rockefeller Center to see the tree and do some ice skating. The tree viewing is all we managed to do, however because the line to skate was just too long. Plus it was crowded and we were all feeling a bit weary.

We were home by dinner time, and yet again spent the evening hanging out with family. We watched the movie Groundhog's Day, made ornaments and a gingerbread house, and played a few more rounds of Bananagrams.

I hope you are enjoying your week too!

Second Day

2011-12-21T18:35:00.001-08:00

Today we followed a much more relaxed schedule. We started off driving to Long Island to visit Mike's sister Rachel, her husband Juan, and their daughter Velda. They recently purchased their first home and were excited to give us a tour. And I have to say, their home was lovely! Built in the 1920's, it is full of character, but has also been updated in many ways. We spent the day chatting by the fire, playing games and talking. We paused to eat some yummy Colombian food, then took up our positions by the crackling fire once again.

Late in the afternoon, we started back, crossing the Verrazano Bridge in the foggy, misty twilight. After dinner, the kids were busy playing while the adults sat around the dining room table looking through old photo albums and playing a few rounds of Bananagrams. After yesterday's hectic pace, today provided the calm reprieve we all needed before heading back into NYC tomorrow.

First Day

2011-12-20T20:26:00.001-08:00

Phew! What a fun-filled first day we had! We headed to the Big Apple--just me, Mike, my dad and the girls (Lucas stayed with Gram, DooDad, and Grandma Velda and had a fun day of his own, soaking up all kinds of grandparent attention and love).

We arrived in the city about 1:00 this afternoon, grabbed a quick bite to eat at a deli near Penn Station, the took a cab to Battery Park where we finally boarded the ferry that took us to Liberty Island. We chose to sit on the top deck to take in all the scenery, and it was cold! Still, it was pretty amazing to look over and see Lady Liberty herself looming large in the sky. We walked around the island for about an hour, then took another ferry to Ellis Island. After an hour there touring the amazing Immigration Museum, we took one last ferry back to Battery Park. We were pooped!

Once we returned back to Mike's parents' house, Mike's brother and his family arrived with dinner. The girls were thrilled to see their cousins and started playing right away. I love evenings like this-- no worries, no schedule, no plan. Just family and food and lots of laughter. Everyone crashed into bed exhausted tonight, but with hearts so very full.

We even wore the dogs out as you will see in the last picture. Our kids sure love playing with Gus and Woodrow.

Arrived

2011-12-19T22:20:00.001-08:00

After a flight delay, thunderstorms, and some turbulence....we are here in Jersey at Mike's parents house! The kids were awesome travelers, but we're hungry and tired when we arrived at Gram and DooDad's house at midnight. After some pb&j's, they went straight to bed, completely exhausted. Tomorrow will be full of fun and adventure, but for now I am enjoying the quiet of our warm, cozy guest room. Ahhhh...let the fun begin!

Gifts Galore

2011-12-18T19:53:00.001-08:00

Tomorrow we are leaving on a trip east to the great states of New Jersey and New York. We will be visiting Mike's family and celebrating Christmas together. For Mike and our crew it will be our first Christmas at Mike's parents' house since 1999 (our first married Christmas). All eight cousins will be able to play together, we get to have a date night in NYC with all the siblings and spouses, and we have all kinds of other fun things planned during our stay. And my dad is coming with us too! I think it will be good for us to be away during our first Christmas without Mom.

Tonight, we decided to let the kids open their presents from us and my dad since we don't want to haul them all with us. They had so much fun opening their presents.

Here's a look at some of their loot!

Deal Of The Day

2011-12-17T20:45:00.001-08:00

Ok, I posted this on Facebook already, but it is too good not to share again, so I apologize if you are reading this twice.

As we were out and about this afternoon doing the last of our Christmas shopping, we ran into Academy, a sports and outdoors store. I picked up an OKC Thunder t-shirt marked $22.99. When the cashier scanned it though, it rang up as 1 cent! That is right, I scored this shirt for one penny! It was probably a mistake and I questioned the cashier about it, but she insisted that whatever it rings up as is what the customer pays.

Now that's a good deal!

Happy Seventh Birthday, Girls!

2011-12-16T21:20:00.000-08:00

My daughters turned seven years old today! We have had a lot of fun celebrating with them today--from waking them up by singing, "Happy Birthday", to bringing donuts to school for a birthday snack, to our dinner with PaPa tonight, to opening presents and watching the excited expressions on their faces. It has been a great day.

It seems like just yesterday that I was in the hospital staring at the two miraculous, perfect, precious little baby girls that I had carried for thirty-seven weeks.

Do you want to see what a belly with two babies in it looks like at thirty-seven weeks?

This was the last photo taken of me before the girls were born. I cannot believe how big my stomach was.

But then I look at the wrinkly leftovers that I have now, and I can still find the evidence that my belly did in fact stretch farther than I ever thought it could.

But the "battle scars" of pregnancy are totally worth it. Because on December 16, 2004, I got these two brown-eyed, black-haired beauties.

Hannah (left) and Leah (right) on their birthday.

They have never known a day apart.

Here I am holding both of them for the first time.

Words cannot describe the deep, unconditional love and the inexpressible joy I felt as I looked into their faces. For years prior to their birth, I had been praying for God to give us a child.

And he gave us two.

I am so very, very thankful.

My mom holding Hannah (left) and my mother-in-law, Dixie, holding Leah (right)

Hannah and Leah,

These last seven years with you have brought me more happiness, laughter, and moments of pure awe than I ever thought possible. Girls, you have challenged me to become a better wife, mother and friend. You have pushed me closer to God, and have made our lives more colorful and vibrant and wonderful and full.

I love you to the moon and back.

Happy Birthday, Little Ones!

A Trip Down Ornament Lane

2011-12-15T21:40:00.000-08:00

I really love our Christmas tree. And it's not the tree that I love so much as the ornaments that decorate it. We opt for a wide range of ornaments, from handmade to crystal, sentimental to kitsch. Each one has a story behind it, which makes looking at our tree a trip down memory lane. And with the addition of many of my mom's ornaments this year, there are even more stories and more memories. My girls love to pick one and ask, "What's the story behind this one, Mom?" Some were given to me by my students, others were given by friends or family, and many were made by me or my kids. I thought I'd take you, my few readers, on a little journey to explore a few of our ornaments.

This red and green and gold beauty made of felt and sequins, is one of many diamond-shaped ornaments hand crafted by my mom and my grandmother back in the late 70's. These have been on our family tree for nearly as long as I've been alive. There is something funky about them that I just love.

The first year Mike and I were married, we had exactly zero Christmas ornaments to decorate our first tree. That's when my friend Lisa stopped by with a box of twelve Victorian style angel ornaments to get us started. Although the number of ornaments we have has grown over the last thirteen years, I always make sure to start decorating the tree with these twelve special ones.

Nothing beats a baby hand print on an shiny red ball. This one is from Leah, dated 2005. She was one. I can't believe how little her hand looks. Especially since she will turn SEVEN tomorrow!

Then there is the famous pickle. What? You don't have a sparkly green pickle hanging on your tree? Back when I was in high school, my aunt gave everyone in the family pickle ornaments. You could hang it on a branch where it would be an interesting nod to a yummy vegetable/condiment. But in our family we like to "hide the pickle" in the tree. Each year it is someone's job to hang the pickle ornament in some obscure place so that it is camouflaged and hard to see. Then everyone else had to try to find it. Whoever finds it gets to hide it next. Our pickle has already been hidden and found several times. It's a classic.

Our astronaut (or "robot guy" as the girls call him) is a recent addition to the tree. Last year I gave the girls $5 and let them pick out an ornament for Mike. Together they thought this was the one he would like best. The astronaut beat out all the snowmen and Santas and gingerbread men in the store. I like to think they really know their dad.

My mom was a fan of ornament collections. She started collecting these rocking horses from Hallmark back in 1980. We have one for every year up to 1999. Growing up, it was always my job to decorate the tree each year, and I can specifically remember hanging each and every rocking horse. It is amazing how many we really have. This one is dated 1983. I would have been six when she bought it-- about the same age as my girls now.

In 2000, my mom upped her game and started collecting Swarovski snowflakes. It amazing how the light glitters through such high quality crystal; it's really beautiful. We have one each year until 2009-- the last Christmas my mom was with us (not in the hospital, like last year, but her "real self"). Since these were expensive, they hang higher up where little hands can't reach. They are simple, elegant, and pretty. Just like my mom.

Finally, I have about four of these little snowflakes. Three years ago, my mom came up with this craft project. She called me one day and invited me over to take some beads and wire and somehow glue them together to create a snowflake. She had seen them in a magazine and thought we could reproduce them as gifts for teachers and neighbors. My dad was home that day and would keep the girls occupied, so she and I could work (Lucas wasn't in the picture yet). I remember sitting at the kitchen table that afternoon, Christmas music playing, mom and I laughing at ourselves as we tried different methods of getting the beads to stick at the ends of the wire, and my girls laughing and playing with their PaPa in the other room. I look at these ornaments and it seems like a hundred years ago that there was such life in that house. I look at these ornaments and remember the carefree days when my mom could call on a whim and the day would turn into a lovely memory. I am glad I can be reminded of those days.

Funny what memories a simple ornament can bring up.

Muddled Mind

2011-12-14T21:15:00.001-08:00

I am exhausted today. There are a few possible reasons for this such as not getting enough sleep lately, recovering from a nasty cold, general holiday business, etc. When I sat down tonight to type my blog, my mind just felt like a muddled, mushy mess. The words and ideas were just not flowing. So rather than force something, I am going to leave you with a pretty sunset picture I took this evening, get a good night's sleep, and hopefully wake up with a clear and confident new outlook tomorrow.

This Cat

2011-12-13T21:33:00.001-08:00

Eats when she wants.
Sleeps about 22 hours a day.
Sheds. Everywhere.
Loves to sit in my lap.
Sleeps on my feet at night.
Avoids my children at all costs.
Has the sweetest face.
Is nearly 13 years old.
Is one of the best pets I have ever had.

I hope to keep her another 13 years.

Warning: Parental Bragging Moment

2011-12-12T21:03:00.001-08:00

I just have to brag on my sweet Hannah. She won an art contest at school. Apparently all the first graders drew elves to display in the hallways. Hannah's was voted by her peers to be "the best" and she won a small prize. She was pretty proud of herself, and so was I. It makes this Mom's heart happy to see her daughter find success in something she loves. Check out her elf she named "Lilly".

Early Christmas

2011-12-11T21:05:00.001-08:00

If you have been reading my blog for any amount of time, you know that my mom passed away this year and that I miss her dearly. Today we got together with my mom's side of the family for a Christmas celebration. Being around my mom's siblings, their spouses and children brings both a huge sense of comfort and a feeling of sadness. The comfort is obvious-- being around the people who loved and knew my mom best. But the sadness comes in the obvious empty place at the table. Or when I see the expression on my kids' faces as they open a gift and think,"I wish you were here to see them, Mom!"

Even with those two emotions warring inside me, and with a major cold raging in my head, we enjoyed our time eating, playing "Dirty Santa", opening presents, and sharing stories. Oh and launching marshmallows across the room with our new marshmallow shooters. Thank you, Uncle John for the entertainment!

I know one thing is certain. I sure need this bunch of people as I continue to grieve and heal.

Crash

2011-12-10T21:08:00.001-08:00

When I woke up today, it felt like a bowling ball was inside of my head. Apparently the cold my family has been passing around, finally landed on me. I wanted to stay in bed, but it was party day for our girls, so I got up and powered through the morning. We had a great party. Really, I couldn't have asked for a better time. My girls had big smiles on their faces the whole time. My talented friend Tanda took pictures for me, so I will post some soon.

After the party was over, Lucas napped, the girls disappeared into their room to play with their loot, and I took a Benadryl and crashed into a deep sleep for nearly two hours. I am so thankful that Mike took over so I could just rest.

Here's a few pictures I managed to snap before the festivities began!

Party Time!

2011-12-09T20:00:00.001-08:00

Tomorrow we are hosting Hannah and Leah's 7th birthday party at our house. At their request, we are having a "girlie pink and black and white party". Everything including the cupcakes is following this theme. We kept it simple, though. They invited seven little girls to come over and get a pedicure (with pink polish), make some jewelry, and eat some sweets! December 16th is their actual birthday, so they won't get any gifts from Mike and me until then. But with Christmas right around the corner, we opted to have their "friend party" a little earlier. Anyone out there with a December birthday? If so, you know how hard it is to find a good day to celebrate!

Well, I better get back to work. There are favors to assemble and cupcakes yet to frost. I will update with party pics tomorrow!

Birdwatching

2011-12-08T20:48:00.000-08:00

Bird watching was a hobby that my parents used to do together. And once I came along, they included me in this hobby. As a baby and young toddler, I was strapped into a sling or toted on shoulders as my parents explored the woods around our small Texas town. When I was old enough to walk along, I would watch them pack a bag with bird books, binoculars, owl calls, and their camera to take with us on our journey. They would plan out which birds they would like to see, and which ones they had already spotted. My dad could whistle the different sound and trills of the chickadee or the tufted titmouse. Then we would head out to the area we called "the bluffs", a wooded area perfect for bird watching. I remember walking quietly along, sometimes feeling bored, sometimes feeling a deep peace and inner calm. My parents would choose a spot to stop and silently look around, binoculars held up to their eyes. They would take out the tape recorder with different owl calls and play the eerie and beautiful sounds to attract other birds. They were hunters. Not hunters with guns or arrows, trying to bring back a prize. They were hunters armed with respect for the animals God created and a desire to find beauty in their graceful, quiet lives.

The Painted Bunting
As I looked through my parents' bird books, I always thought it was the prettiest of all the birds.

Babies Don't Keep

2011-12-07T20:59:00.000-08:00

My post from yesterday is still lingering in my head a bit. I guess I've been in a nostalgic mood, because I've been flipping through old photos of the girls and Lucas. In fact, just today, I was sitting on the floor with Lucas playing with some blocks and cars. He looked up at a framed black and white photo of me sitting in a chair with my big, pregnant belly exposed and Hannah and Leah leaning down giving it hugs and kisses. Lucas pointed to the picture and said, "Mommy!" I nodded and said, "Who was in my tummy?" He grinned, but didn't say anything. So I gently poked his little tummy and said, "YOU were in my tummy!"

Then it hit me. It was three years ago this past Thanksgiving that I found out I was pregnant for the second time. My mom was so exited when I told her. I remember the giddiness in her voice as she exclaimed how thrilled she was. Has it been three years since I started watching my waistline expand? Three years since I felt those sweet baby kicks from the inside out? Wasn't I just looking into my sweet baby boy's eyes in the hospital marveling at how small and precious he was?

I recently read a poem on another blog (www.wishingforpineneedles.typepad.com). And I think it fits so appropriately with these sentiments of time passing so quickly, like the blink of an eye. Especially when it comes to those precious newborn and baby years. Like the poem suggests, babies just don't keep.

Babies Don't Keep

Mother, O' Mother, come shake out your cloth,

Empty the dustpan, poison the moth.

Hang out the washing, make up the bed,

Sew on a button and butter the bread.

Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?

She's up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I've grown as shiftless as Little Boy Blue,

Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo.

Dishes are waiting and bills are past due,

Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek - peekaboo.

The shopping's not done and there's nothing for stew,

And out in the yard there's a hullabaloo.

But I'm playing Kanga and this is my Roo.

Look! Aren't his eyes the most wonderful hue?

Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo.

The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow,

But children grow up, as I've learned to my sorrow.

So quiet down cobwebs; Dust go to sleep!

I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.

~ Ruth Hulbert Hamilton

A Year Ago

2011-12-06T19:52:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I like to look back to one year ago. So I did just that this evening and marveled at how much things have changed.

Here's Hannah and Leah one year ago. Last year, they were five about to turn six. Now, next week they turn seven! We're getting ready for a party this weekend!

Last year, they were just a few months into kindergarten, and just learning how to read.

Now they can read with ease and are growing in their new found freedom!

One thing that has not changed, though, is their love for each other. They truly are best friends.

And look at this little guy! Last year he was still sitting in a high chair. Now he sits at the table like a big boy.

Last year he knew only a small handful of words. Now we has a large repertoire of words and cracks us up on a daily basis. Last year, he looked like a baby. Now he looks like a little boy.

One thing that has not changed is his sweet, loving personality. I hope that never changes.

Pink Eye

2011-12-05T20:52:00.001-08:00

My friend Maria said pink eye is like a plague on this earth. I agree. Lucas woke up today with his eyes crusted over in yellow-green goop (hope you're not eating breakfast!). After I placed a warm washcloth over his eyes, he struggled to open them due to their puffiness and sensitivity to light. He kept saying, "Eye hurt!" I called our pediatrician and she was willing to call in some eye drops so I didn't have to get him out in the bitter cold wind today (wind chills in the low teens = brrrrrr). But I had a feeling there was more to the story, so I took him in. And sure enough, he had ear infections in both ears in addition to pink eye. The doctor said his right ear was so bad that she expected his eardrum to burst later tonight (so far it hasn't!). I felt so bad for my little guy today. We started antibiotics and eye drops immediately (those were sure fun to give. hear the sarcasm in my voice?) We also gave him lots of snuggles and put him to bed early. I am praying he wakes up feeling much better. And that none of our eyes are crusted over in the morning!

Homesick

2011-12-04T19:24:00.000-08:00

I had a dream about my mom last night. It was so vivid and so clear that I woke up a bit panicked. In the dream I was with my mom standing in the kitchen of our old house, the home that I lived in from age 10 to age 22. My mom was vibrant and healthy looking, and she was pulling out all kinds of things from her kitchen cabinets and handing them to me saying, "Here! You can have these!" While she was handing me things like place mats and mugs and napkin rings, I asked her, "Why are you giving me all this?" She looked at me and smiled and said, "Because I'm going away." And in my dream I instantly knew that she wasn't going away on a vacation or extended trip. I knew she was going away to heaven. I started begging her to stay, but she kept reassuring me that she had to go. I eventually closed my eyes, clenched my teeth and screamed like a child throwing a fit, "STAY HERE AND FIGHT!" But she just calmly said, "I can't." And then I woke up. I woke up tense and had to sit up and take some deep breaths. I haven't had very many dreams about my mom since she passed away, so this took me by surprise. And as a result I have found myself thinking about her a lot today, longing to see her again.

And then I heard a song on the radio this afternoon and the lyrics hit me like a ton of bricks. They SO perfectly capture how I've been feeling as I have been walking this road of grief for seven months now.

"Homesick"

You're in a better place, I've heard a thousand times

And at least a thousand times I've rejoiced for you

But the reason why I'm broken, the reason why I cry

Is how long must I wait to be with you

I close my eyes and I see your face

If home's where my heart is, then I'm out of place

Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow

I've never been more homesick than now

Help me Lord cause I don't understand your ways

The reason why I wonder if I'll ever know

But even if you showed me, the hurt would be the same

Cause I'm still so far away from home

In Christ there are no goodbyes

And in Christ, there is no end

So I'll hold on to Jesus, with all that I have

To see you again

And I close my eyes, and I see your face

If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place

Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow

I've never been more homesick than now

Bedlam

2011-12-03T20:14:00.001-08:00

One night a year, our state is divided. And that night is Bedlam. You see, college football is a major deal around here. In Oklahoma you either cheer for OU or OSU. You either wear crimson and cream or orange and black. You either yell, "Boomer Sooner!" or "Go Pokes!"

As for me, I grew up an OU fan. My parents went there, most of my aunts, uncles, and cousins went there, Mike's parents went there too. I grew up watching OU football, and I admit that I love it. It is a tradition for me.

So tonight as OU and OSU face off in their annual bedlam match, I am cringing when I look at the score right now. Ouch. We have to live with the ribbing and the bragging for a whole year.

Next year, OU. Next year.

Warm And Cozy

2011-12-02T20:29:00.001-08:00

Today has been a cold, dreary day. A day spent indoors by the fire. A day spent snuggling with Lucas, playing UNO with the girls, and enjoying the calm haven of our home. How was your day?

Bridesmaid Visit

2011-12-01T20:57:00.001-08:00

My good friend Tara is here visiting us tonight. She flew in from Baltimore earlier this week, spent some time with her younger brother for a few days, and is spending the night with us tonight. Tara was one of my bridesmaids in my wedding. She and I met 17 years ago in high school, and have remained friends even though she has moved all over the country. Currently she is in full time ministry, spending several months out of the year working with women in the red light district in Thailand. She shared some amazing stories about her work tonight at our church home group. Here's a pic of us at my wedding back in 1999. Now off to visit some more before she leaves to go back to the east coast tomorrow!

Random Childhood Memory-- Plus A Crazy Video!

2011-11-30T19:47:00.000-08:00

For some reason, I have been thinking about one of my favorite childhood television show lately. I went through a phase where I was obsessed with an obscure program that aired on PBS during the late 1980's. Anyone else out there remember Square One? It was a show about math, of all things, which was strange for me since I wanted nothing to do with math most of the time. The show was made up of various skits and songs all pertaining to different aspects of math-- geometry, algebra, patterns, etc. One of the show's staple skits was MathMan (similar to Pac Man, but he ate numbers). Another skit I loved was Mathnet. Each episode involved detectives solving crimes using math. But probably my favorite thing on the show were the music videos. This is where you get to watch the crazy video I have posted for you. It's a song about angles. Take it all in. In all its strange, 1980's glory.

You're Welcome.

Now go google Square One and see what I'm talking about!

Purging, Organizing And A Cool Find

2011-11-29T17:55:00.000-08:00

During the holidays last week, I came down with a serious case of organizational fever. Ever hear of it? It strikes without warning and the only cure is to jump in, purge some belongings and set about organizing the rest. The girls' room was the main source of my concern. The room itself only contained two twin beds and a dresser. That's it. All the girls' toys had to be stored in their closet because I simply didn't have any buckets or shelves or bins to organize elsewhere. And the closet was getting way too full. I was mentioning this dilemma to my dad and he suggested taking an extra bookshelf from his house and using it for my organizing pleasure. Not only did I find the bookshelf to be the perfect size to fit the space, but I also found a stash of baskets at my parents' house (my mom had quite a basket collection). And then I set about the task of going through each and every toy, game, book, puzzle, doll, etc. I got rid of quite a bit and then grouped the rest into different categories. The baskets came in extremely handy for this! When I was done, I looked at the shelf and wished I had one or two special items to display-- something unique and special. Not sure exactly what I wanted, I put that thought on the back burner, and moved on to Christmas decorating.

Once again, I headed to my parents' house because I wanted to incorporate some of mom's ornaments on our tree. While up in their attic, I discovered a box my mom had labeled "Emily Nostalgia". Intrigued, I opened it up to find so many precious things (of course I cried). There was a framed needlepoint piece that my mom had done in 1985. It had my name, some hearts, and a special quote and an "I Love You". I remember that it had hung in my room as a little girl. I found my old point shoes from my senior year in ballet, some trophies, some old stories I had written, and a special doll named Lucy. Lucy was my mom's favorite doll when she was little. When my mom was young, her family didn't have a lot of money, but her parents had worked hard to give her this special doll. Next to Lucy was a suitcase full of doll clothes that my Grandma had made. I remember my mom letting me play with Lucy and dress her up. I thought she was pretty special then, but had forgotten what had happened to her. Well, here she was, staring back up at me with her glassy, blue doll eyes. Then it hit me- -this is exactly the sort of special item I want to display on the girls' new bookshelf! Yes!

I took her home and the girls instantly thought she was very cool. I told them the story about Lucy; how she was Grandma's doll when she was little. I reminded them that she is fragile and that if they want to play with her, they need to ask my permission. They loved going through all the clothes, imagining which dress would look best for different occasions. Their enthusiasm for Lucy reminded me of my own. It was a perfect fit.

Here's the new bookshelf. The framed picture on the top is a pregnancy portrait I had taken when I was six months pregnant with Hannah and Leah.

Lucy in her party dress

The suitcase of doll clothes

The detail in these clothes amazes me. The time my Grandma spent in sewing and crocheting these items just astounds me. It truly speaks of her love for her daughter. I love the little navy felt skirt with red rick-rack and the matching red top. So cute!

Some Days

2011-11-28T21:29:00.001-08:00

Some days end with the perfect combination of fresh air and lots of time to play. Last week we picked up and headed to the park just before the sun began to set. Just long enough to run and chase each other and feel the cool night air fill up our lungs. My kids had smiles on their faces while they played. As I watched on (and sometimes joined in) my heart was nearly overflowing with gratitude for this life that I've been given.

Free Christmas Entertainment

2011-11-27T18:57:00.000-08:00

The best entertainment during the holidays is simply driving around looking at Christmas lights. My kids love it and it's free! Well, I guess if you take into account the gas you are using while driving around, and factor in the minimal wear and tear on your car then technically it is not "free", but you get the idea. Free as in "no admission charge"! :) We like to find a neighborhood and then pretend to be judges giving out awards for different things like "most lights" or "most colorful" or "favorite Christmas scene," etc. Lucas is really into the lights this year for the first time. He kept yelling out colors as we drove by and would say, "More Christmas Yights!"

There are a few neighborhoods around the city where the entire street lights up and flashes along with music. Other neighborhoods have enormous houses with elaborately decorated displays. Some businesses even get into the action and decorate their campuses. And there are plenty of parks to drive through with all kinds of scenes to look at from traditional nativity scenes to Santa and his sleigh. The best thing to do is to get the kids all dressed and ready for bed, then head out in our pajamas. Usually they fall asleep and we simply drive home and place them in their cozy, warm beds.

Saturday night we had met up with my dad for dinner, so afterwards we headed over to Chesapeake Energy's campus to see their famous trees in all their colorful glory.

Whizzing past the trees

Stopping for a closer look

Do you love to drive around and look at lights?

Christmas Tree

2011-11-26T22:01:00.001-08:00

Yesterday we celebrated the tradition of decorating our Christmas tree. Although we broke tradition a little bit because we put up a fake tree (*gasp*)! Mike always insists on a real tree, and I usually agree. I love the smell; it seems extra Christmas-y. But later this month we will be out of town, and we wouldn't be able to water a real tree. So we borrowed my parents' fake one. My dad wasn't going to put it up with just him at home (and he is coming with us out of town later).

We have a very eclectic assortment of ornaments, which I love. I even got to add several of my mom's ornaments as well. The girls had fun helping hang then up, and when it was all done and our stockings were hanging from the mantel, we sat back and admired our work.

Thanksgiving 2011

2011-11-25T21:34:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was my first major holiday to get through without my mom. I thought I would be teary and sad all day, but instead I felt truly grateful for my family and for what we have been blessed with. I know that in a heartbeat, life could be over and none of our "stuff" really matters. I am so thankful that I had thirty-four wonderful years with my mom. And I am so thankful I have my sweet husband, my three healthy children, and my awesome Dad left to share life with.

We spent the day at my dad's sister's house. My Aunt Shirley is a phenomenal cook. She truly outdid herself cooking an incredible feast for 22 people! We had a houseful! I love spending time with my cousins, their spouses and their children. My girls have a blast there. Only one minor incident occurred when Lucas threw a three pound weight down the stairs which eventually crashed into a plate of glass on a cabinet at the bottom. It shattered an nearly scared me to death because I wasn't sure what had fallen. I was praying it wasn't Lucas himself, and was thankful to see the silly barbell on the floor. But then I realized that he had smashed the glass from an antique, and felt horrible. My aunt was incredibly gracious and told me not to worry about it, but we plan on sending them some money to help cover the cost of replacing it. Oops.

Hannah and me post meal. I managed to get her to sit still long enough to snap a picture. While all the adults lazed around the living room after the meal, all the kids ran and played all day long!

Most of the fun was had outside in the leaves. Who doesn't love a good leaf pile!?

Leah

Hannah

Lucas

Papa and Lucas raking the leaves

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Giving Thanks

2011-11-24T18:42:00.001-08:00

I have spent the day spending time with family, consuming way too many calories, and thinking of all the many reasons I have to give thanks. I hope you all had a blessed day as well. I am thankful for you!

Chocolate Chip Pumpkin Muffins

2011-11-23T20:09:00.000-08:00

As promised, here is the other pumpkin recipe I promised to share. Chocolate chip pumpkin muffins are one of our favorite breakfast treats. Who am I kidding, they are basically a dessert that we get to eat at breakfast....and for snacks....and just about anytime. I made this batch this morning, and it is nearly gone. They go quick! I usually cut the recipe in half and it makes about eighteen muffins which is plenty for us. But these also freeze well, so if you make the whole batch, you will be glad a few months from now when you pull them out to enjoy.

Here's what you need:
4 eggs
2 cups sugar
1 (16 oz) can pureed pumpkin
1 1/2 cups vegetable oil
3 cups flour
2 tsp. baking soda
2 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. cinnamon
1 tsp. salt
1 package of chocolate chips

Directions:
In a large mixing bowl beat eggs, sugar, pumpkin, and oil until smooth. Add in dry ingredients and mix well. Fold in chocolate chips. Fill greased or paper-lined muffin cups 3/4 full. Bake 16-20 minutes at 400 degrees. Yields 24-30 muffins.

You could always not add the chocolate chips and just enjoy the simple taste of a plain pumpkin muffin. Or perhaps throw in some chopped pecans. Hope you enjoy!

Pumpkin Pasta Sauce

2011-11-22T17:45:00.000-08:00

Since it is Thanksgiving week, I thought I'd share a few of our favorite pumpkin recipes. Well, two of our favorite pumpkin recipes. Tonight I made ravioli with pumpkin pasta sauce. It is oh-so-easy, a little rich, and super yummy. It comes together quickly and most of the ingredients I usually have on hand.

For the sauce you will need: an onion, garlic, olive oil, pumpkin puree, chicken (or vegetable) broth, milk (or heavy cream), salt, pepper and Italian seasonings.

1. Dice one small onion and 2-3 cloves of garlic. Add 1 Tbsp. of olive oil to a saucepan and cook the onion and garlic until tender.

2. Add 3/4 cup pumpkin, 3/4 cup broth, 1/2 milk (or cream), salt, pepper and Italian Seasonings (to taste). Allow sauce to simmer over med-low heat for 10 minutes.

3. While the sauce is simmering, cook some pasta of your choice (I've been using cheese ravioli) according to the package directions. Serve sauce over pasta and top with Parmesan cheese.

At this point you can really play with the ingredients. Add a protein if you want (Mike thinks grilled chicken would be good). Prefer linguine? Rigatoni? Go for it. My only suggestion is no matter which pasta you use, you must serve it with some warm, crusty bread to soak up all the yummy, saucy goodness.

Tomorrow I'm going to post another favorite recipe-- chocolate chip pumpkin muffins! Mmmm.....

Rainy Monday

2011-11-21T20:54:00.000-08:00

It was dark in our bedroom this morning when Mike gently leaned over and told me he was leaving for work. This is a new routine for us now, him leaving and kissing me good-bye. It's one we have done before, but it has been awhile. I smiled and mumbled, "Have a good day!" Then I rolled over and snuggled up with the cute two year old boy who had found his way to our room in the wee hours of the morning. He had woken up crying, and when I scooped him up from his crib, he was burning up with fever. I knew a doctor's appointment was on our agenda for the day, but while he was snoozing next to me, I closed my eyes and let my brain wake up a bit before pulling my body up from the soft, warm sheets.

Eventually, I got up and went to the front door to peek out at the dreary November sky. Rain had been predicted and the sky looked pregnant with precipitation. I put some water in the tea kettle and cranked on the burner. A cup of hot tea seemed like the perfect way to start this rainy Monday.

We spent the morning in our pajamas (the girls are out of school all week!). We drew pictures, played "grocery store", read books, and watched a movie. Eventually we made it to the doctor where she diagnosed Lucas with an ear infection and the croup. Mike picked up a pizza for dinner so that I didn't have to try to cook; I've had a clingy two year old boy attached to my hip all day. Before bed we sat by the fire and drank some hot chocolate. I really didn't get too much accomplished today according to my own to-do list, but I think we had an enjoyable rainy Monday nonetheless.

How was your Monday?

Two Teeth Less

2011-11-20T20:25:00.001-08:00

Leah had two teeth pulled this week, so the tooth fairy paid her a visit. She looks so cute with her new smile. I love this age! (excuse my thumb in the picture!)

Choosing His Outfit

2011-11-19T18:48:00.001-08:00

Today Lucas insisted on wearing an OU shirt and Hawaiian print bathing suit. He also carried around my Swiffer duster most of the day wielding it like a sword. He is starting to really come into his own little funny personality.

Little Bear And My Boy

2011-11-18T19:13:00.000-08:00

When I was little, my mom read to me everyday. I loved snuggling up in her lap and listening to her animated voice reading the words on the pages. It felt safe and comfortable and innocent. It's one of my favorite memories; one that is wrapped up in both a visual image and a physical feeling.

Now that I am a mom, I love to read with my little ones. I hope that during the times I snuggle up with my kids, they experience the same wonderful feeling I did as a child so many years ago (well...34 years ago...does this count as "many"?).

Some of my very favorite books were the Little Bear books by Maurice Sendak, illustrated by Else Holmelund Minarik. I loved the simple stories and the lovely illustrations. They made me want to jump right into the books and live with Little Bear and his family deep in the heart of the woods. So I'm thrilled that the Little Bear books are favorites among my crew of little people. My girls love "The Goblin Story" and "Mother Bear's Robin". Lucas is just now developing the attention span to move past board books and into some longer stories. He now asks for "Teddy Bear" books (code for "Little Bear books") each time we sit down.

Today after eating lunch and cleaning up the dishes, he and I sat down in the rocking chair in his room. The afternoon was cloudy, so the room was dark except for the warm glow of the small lamp beside the chair. It cast a yellow light down over the pages. Lucas grabbed his beloved green blanket and we opened the familiar pages of Little Bear's Visit. I started right in, trying to read the words with as much animation as my mother's voice. About halfway through, I noticed that Lucas was very still and his head slightly tilted to the side. I peered down and saw his eyes shut and his chest rising with deep, sleepy breaths. I closed the book and set it down, wrapping my arms tightly around his little body. I shut my eyes and breathed in the scent of the top of my boy's head, cherishing the moment for awhile before gently moving him to his crib to finish the rest of his nap.

In the quiet of his bedroom, I tried to imagine a similar scene-- one in which I was was a small two year old girl and my mom was the one with her eyes closed and her arms wrapped tightly around me. Although I would have been too young to really remember such a thing, I like to think that it happened one day while we were reading Little Bear together on a cloudy afternoon some thirty-something years ago.

Roll With It

2011-11-17T21:45:00.001-08:00

This has been my mantra lately. In fact, here is an example from today. With some friends coming over tonight, I decided to make a homemade pound cake and serve it with strawberries and whipped cream. I've made pound cake before, and it has always turned out pretty good. So tonight, I followed the recipe and after an hour and twenty minutes I opened the oven door to see that the cake had totally collapsed in the middle. Not only that, but the sides had baked up so puffy that they overflowed causing the cake bits on the oven floor to burn to a putrid crisp. Great, I thought to myself. What am I going to do now? I stared at the cake and remembered my mantra-- just roll with it. So I put a serving spoon next to it, set out the strawberries and cream, and called it a "summer pudding". Voila! Problem solved and it still tasted great. What about you? Are you usually able to roll with life's punches?

Moments Like These

2011-11-15T19:57:00.001-08:00

Having Mike's Grandma here has been so nice. Even at 89 years old she is healthy and full of energy. She is kind and gentle and helpful. Her eyes light up when she plays with her great-grandchildren. They adore her too. She is such a blessing to our family, and I am so glad she was able to fly down for a visit. Watching her read to all the great-grandkids tonight made me slow down and try to capture moments like these in my memory forever.

Family Pics

2011-11-14T18:56:00.001-08:00

My friend Tanda is an amazing photographer. So naturally I hit her up to take some new family photos! Actually, several other friends asked about pictures too. So Sunday before church we all headed outside to see what we could get. Here are two of our crew that turned out great! Thanks, Tanda for doing such a good job!

Laughing At The Future

2011-11-13T20:27:00.000-08:00

Back in my junior high years, a Sunday School teacher of mine encouraged me to read a chapter of Proverbs every day of the month. Since Proverbs has 31 chapters, this usually works out perfectly. She also encouraged me to underline each time Proverbs mentions wisdom. It was this simple suggestion that kick started a daily habit of reading my Bible that has grown into a love for God's word. And all these years later, I still read a chapter of Proverbs every day! One of my favorite chapters is the last. It speaks of a godly woman, someone that I strive to emulate. One verse in particular has always stood out to me. It's verse 25, "She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs at the days to come (NIV)." The New American Standard version says "she smiles at the future." I remember back in college, discussing this very verse with my roommate. We were so wide eyed and excited about our futures-- careers, marriage, kids! So much awaited us then! And as I've experienced these wonderful things, I have certainly smiled and thanked God for each of them. But the future also holds loss and sadness and pain. Even still....I want to be a woman who smiles at my future. A woman who laughs knowing that my future is secure in my Father's hands.

Proverbs 31:25

She is clothed with strength and dignity;

she can laugh at the days to come.

A Special Visit

2011-11-12T21:02:00.001-08:00

Late last night we made a run to the airport to pick up Mike's sister, Rachel, her daughter, Velda, and Mike's 89 year old Grandma from the airport! They are staying with us for the next five days and we plan to soak up all the time with them that we can. Today we jumped into the fun by heading to a fancy tea room where we ate a delicious lunch. We let the little girls wear their fanciest dresses which they loved. Later we took our whole crew to the Oklahoma Science Museum. The kids played and played, getting all their wiggles out. The day ended with pizza, popcorn and a movie. Tomorrow we get to wake up and begin another fun day together! I love special visits like this.

Connecting The Dots

2011-11-11T20:31:00.000-08:00

Mike recently read a quote that he liked and it has resonated with both of us lately. "It's impossible to connect the dots looking forward. It only works when you look back." This is so true for us. Eighteen months ago, in August of 2010, Mike was laid off from his job at Ethnographic Media. The company decided to let go of their entire creative team, and just focus on product marketing and distribution. It was a scary, but exciting time for us. After some long talks and a lot of prayer, we felt confident that the next step for Mike was to be a free lance designer and work from home. Looking back it was the perfect decision for us. Work started coming in quickly, and soon Mike was on retainer for a church in Texas. Money was tight, but we were able to cut back in some areas and make ends meet. Soon, we were loving the new flexibility in our schedule. Mike was able to take the girls to school each morning, and he and I would sit down to lunch every day and chat. It was great!

Then came November 2, 2010. This was the day my mom went into the hospital for open heart surgery-- the catalyst of all of her health problems. We had no idea that day that the next six months would be an incredible roller coaster ride of emotion that culminated in a painful loss on May 3, 2011. During those six months, Mike was home with Lucas during the day which allowed me the time to go to the hospital to be with my mom. What an incredible gift that was, and I will cherish the time I did get to spend with her. And Mike was home that Tuesday afternoon I got the worst phone call of my life. The day my dad called to tell me my mom was gone. I fell to the floor crying, and simply handed the phone to Mike. He talked to my dad, let me cry for awhile, then held me and talked to me. He made phone calls to arrange care for Lucas, and then drove me to my parents' house where I was able to collapse into my dad's arms for awhile. In the blur of those next few days, Mike was my rock. When I didn't want to go to the funeral home, he talked sense into me and gently encouraged me. He took care of little things, so I could be with my family. And in the next few weeks and months, he continued to be my biggest support. During this past summer, we had so much fun together. We took the kids to the zoo, we went on a 10 day vacation driving through seven states, we had date nights, and family time at the park. Working from home provided us the flexibility to pick up and go anywhere at anytime. I see this time as a "circling of the wagons" around our family, and we were all able to heal.

But this fall, again after some long conversations and prayer, we decided that it was time for Mike to return to the work force. He started putting together his resume, but then just when we least expected it, a friend from a local ad agency called with a job offer. It was a perfect fit. So with both excitement and a bit of trepidation (from me mostly), we can say that on Monday Mike will begin his new career as a Senior Designer at Ackerman-McQueen Advertising Agency here in Oklahoma City.

Looking back, I can finally connect the dots. These eighteen months taught us so much about each other, about our faith, about our family values, and showed us that we serve a God who sees a big picture and knows exactly what we need.

Male Bonding

2011-11-10T21:41:00.001-08:00

Nothing says male bonding like a big bowl of popcorn and Star Wars on the TV. That is exactly how Mike and Lucas spent their lunch hour today. You see, for the past 18 months Mike has been working from home. But starting Monday, Mike is returning to the work force (more on this tomorrow), so he is trying to enjoy every last second at home this week. And today that included a special movie date with Lucas.

An Afternoon of Folding

2011-11-09T21:44:00.001-08:00

This afternoon I managed to fold and put away SIX loads of laundry. The kids clothes took up the majority of my folding time, and I don't mind doing it as long as I am not in a hurry. In fact, I sort of enjoy it when, like today, I didn't have any kids around (Lucas was sleeping) and I have a good show to watch (a First 48 marathon today!). Then the monotony of folding is not so bad. And the feeling of accomplishment when it is all put away is simply priceless. I always feel good until the next day when I realize I have yet another load to do. It truly never ends!

Homeschooling For Today

2011-11-08T20:53:00.001-08:00

Today the girls were out of school due to flash flooding in our area (yesterday we had floods, tornadoes, and an earthquake--craziest weather day ever). So with our unexpected time off, what did my girls ask to do? They said, "Homeschool us, Mom!" We did have some homework to take care of, so we sat down and got started. Two math worksheets soon evolved into a math experiment involving measurement and hypothesis, and lots of water.

After that we moved into a spelling pre-test, then book reading, and ended with writing a story and an art project. Before we knew it, two hours had passed by and the girls and I had not only accomplished our goals (hopefully some learning occurred as well), but we also had a really good time together!

Weather And The End Of The World

2011-11-07T19:56:00.001-08:00

Well the craziness here continues.... Several tornadoes on the ground, lots of rain and yet another earthquake!! Our whole house shook and the girls ran out of their room crying. Tonight's quake came on at a 4.7. I am not sure what is happening, but all those 2012ers might be on to something. :)

Earthquake

2011-11-06T20:05:00.000-08:00

Yesterday night I experienced something I have never experienced in my entire life. An EARTHQUAKE! Actually, two of them occurred yesterday, but I only was awake for one of them. The first was at 2:30 in the morning and registered at a 4.7 on the Richter Scale. No one in my family woke up, but many people I know did wake up from the subtle shaking. Although I didn't wake up, I did have a strange dream. In my dream, I was watching my kids play on a large piece of playground equipment only to see that playground equipment slowly collapse and fall completely over. I was panicked because I couldn't find my kids in the rubble. Did the earthquake effect my dream subconsciously? Who knows?

The second quake occurred at 11:00 yesterday night. Mike and I were at our friends' house when a sound like thunder filled the room, and the floor literally began to shake. All four of us stood up and said, "Earthquake!" Then we started running around like crazy people. Do we go outside? Stay inside? Sit under a doorway? What's the protocol for an earthquake? The shaking lasted for a full minute, and when it ended all the light fixtures in our friends' home were still swaying. We turned on the news and soon learned that it was a 5.6! The largest earthquake in Oklahoma history!

As Okies we are totally used to things like tornadoes, extreme heat, drought, and ice storms. Californians are the ones who are prepared for earthquakes, not us! I'm sure the 5.6 we experienced last night was nothing compared to what they deal with on the west coast on a more regular basis. But for us, it was something totally new. So I think we all deserved a freak out moment. My facebook news feed was jam packed with earthquake comments last night and all day today. It definitely got us all talking around here!

What about you? Have you ever been through an earthquake?

Seeing Clearly

2011-11-05T22:17:00.001-07:00

My sweet Leah got glasses this weekend. She loves them and I think she looks adorable. She seems to be enjoying seeing the world more clearly!

Showtime

2011-11-04T21:58:00.001-07:00

Tonight we went to The Girlie Show and had a blast. We ate, we shopped, we chatted and mingled. I could have spent a small fortune, but I restrained myself. Tomorrow I go back to volunteer for the day, so I am going to head off to bed! Hope you all had a fun Friday night!

Playtime

2011-11-03T20:15:00.001-07:00

Everyday Lucas asks if as can go to a "playground-park". He says these two words together every time as if they are supposed to go together. And a lot of the time I indulge my sweet little snaggletooth little boy.

First Fire

2011-11-02T21:00:00.001-07:00

Tonight after the kids took a bath, they came into the living room to find the first fire of the season blazing away in the fireplace. They were so excited that they grabbed some pillows and sat right down. I am looking forward to many, many more nights in front of the fire together.

Fall, Glorious Fall!

2011-11-01T18:52:00.000-07:00

Fall is such a glorious season. The colors, the smells, the cooler temperatures. Here in Oklahoma we don't really see pretty fall foliage until late October or early November. And fall has officially made its presence known. Pumpkins are out. Mums are planted and vibrantly blooming. The leaves are all shades of yellow and orange and brown and red. We are trying to soak in every minute of it!

Halloween

2011-10-31T18:28:00.001-07:00

Leah (pirate), Hannah (cheerleader), Their good friend Summer (Rapunzel), and Lucas (Batman) were all hyped up and ready to go tonight! We hit up our entire neighborhood and returned with a ridiculous amount of candy. Hope you had a fun and safe Halloween!

Mom's Birthday

2011-10-30T21:08:00.000-07:00

October 30, 1948 was a wonderful day. It was the day my beautiful mom was born. Just one year after her sister was born, Barbara June made her debut into this world. She was destined to live a live of gentleness and compassion. From birth her parents and siblings described her as a "sweet girl" and she truly was sweet her entire life.

My mom. I see so much of Hannah in her face.

My mom grew up as an "army brat" and moved many, many times throughout her childhood including places like Germany and Okinawa. Moving so much made her very close to her five siblings. My mom was quiet, loved to read, played paper dolls with her sister, Lindell, helped take care of her four younger brothers, and was smart enough to skip the third grade, going straight into fourth!

My mom celebrating an earlier birthday with her sister, brother and friends.

My mom is on the front row in the center, her sister is in the back row on the far left and her brother Paul is the only boy in the picture!

Many years and many birthdays later, my mom met my dad while attending college in Norman, Oklahoma. They fell in love and married in February of 1970. Seven years later, after battling and beating cancer, I was born. She always said I was the best gift she ever received. I think being born to the parents God gave me was an incredible gift to me.

My mom and me

Easter Sunday

For the next 34 years, my mother loved, cared for, disciplined, and encouraged me. She spent quality time with me, she taught me, she played with me, and she read to me. She worked hard, didn't complain, and always managed to smile her beautiful smile. During my teenage years, she waited up for me after I had been out with my friends. She listened to me and we laughed together. She gave advice, but didn't nag. We played games together, shopped together and could talk for hours about anything and everything.

Me and mom during my college years.

A special moment at my wedding.

My mom and I just three years ago at her 60th birthday party.

And then in 2004 and again in 2009, my mom became a Grandma! She was so thrilled to step into that role. She was with me at all of my children's births. She held them each so tenderly and loved them as deeply as I did. She enjoyed being a part of their lives, even making each child a special book in which she wrote love letters to them. My kids adored their Grandma. Leah always called my mom her "best buddy."

Grandma and PaPa at the girls' Pre-K Christmas presentation

Grandma holding Lucas just days after his birth.

So today, on my mom's birthday, as much as I wish I could celebrate with her and give her a gift, I instead accept the gift. The gift of the many memories I have with her. The gift of the loving example she set for me. And the gift of her incredible legacy I can pass on to my own children.

So thank you, Mom. For being a gift to me.

When we see each other in heaven one day, we can celebrate again.

Oreo Balls

2011-10-29T20:53:00.001-07:00

Have you ever had these delicious concoctions? No? Well, go to your nearest grocery store today, purchase these ingredients, and make them today. At the first taste of these sweet treats the clouds will part, a holy light will fill the room and you will hear choirs of angels singing. Well, maybe not, but you will say to yourself, "Dang, these are good!". Here's the recipe.

Take one entire package of Oreo cookies and place them in small batches in a food processor or blender, grinding them into a powder. Place the Oreo dust into a large bowl.

Next add 8 ounces of softened cream cheese and mix well. The end result will resemble black play-dough. Roll into walnut sized balls, place on a cookie sheet and put them into the refrigerator to chill for at least one hour. IMPORTANT: Don't skip this step. One hour of chilling is minimum. You want to have firm balls. [insert ball joke here....sorry].

Finally, melt 3/4 package of white almond bark in a saucepan. Use a toothpick to dip the balls into the melted almond bark and place back on the cookie sheet. The bark will harden in about fifteen minutes.

If you are feeling fancy, melt some chocolate almond bark, place it in a baggie, snip a tiny bit off the end and drizzle some across the Oreo balls. Or dip some in the chocolate mixture first and drizzle with the white almond bark. Go crazy! You can do it!

*Vegan friends: I know Oreos are vegan, and I know you can buy vegan cream cheese. But what about almond bark? Is there a vegan substitute? I am curious.

Let me know if you give these bad boys a try!

Harvest Party

2011-10-28T20:37:00.001-07:00

Today was the girls' Harvest Party at school. Or you could also call it a Fall Party. And maybe even a Halloween Party. Whatever you want to call it, it was fun. They kids ate snacks, went gourd bowling, and made a Bracelet. I am so glad I get to be a part of these memories for them!

Puke Bucket

2011-10-27T17:48:00.001-07:00

Yesterday I bought new toothbrushes for the girls. Today I stripped their beds, washed their sheets, and put them back on. So of course that means someone would get sick today. It's a law of nature!

Tonight just after we tucked the girls in, Leah started screaming that she threw up. And man did she ever. It was all over her clean sheets soaking down to the mattress pad. It was on her nightgown, in her hair and dripping down the side of her bed onto the carpet. She truly had an Exorcist experience.

Mike and I quickly jumped into action; we make a pretty good team in a crisis. I gave Leah a bath while he stripped the bed and cleaned up the carpet. Then he got the girls settled in the living room watching the Halloween Charlie Brown special, while I put new sheets on the bed. Leah is resting comfortably with the puke bucket in hand.

Phew! It is a lot of work, and gross work at that, but I will gladly take care of my sweet girl. I hate it when my kids are sick.

Hat Day

2011-10-26T19:59:00.001-07:00

It was hat day today, and I just thought Hannah looked cute. She is wearing one of my hats that I wore a lot during the mid to late 90's. It reminds me of the hat Bridget Fonda wore in the movie Singles. I loved that movie (Favorite quote-"I just happened to be nowhere near your neighborhood.") I so wanted to be in that movie.

Anyway...funny where you can go with inspiration from one simple photo.

Camera Shy

2011-10-25T20:09:00.001-07:00

Lately Lucas has decided to be a little camera shy. Whenever I ask to take his picture, he turns his face from me and says "No!"

But when I sneak a peek at that cute face, his lips are still turned up in a little smile. Maybe he is just being ornery instead of shy. Either way I still love that boy!

What We Did:: Tenkiller 2011

2011-10-24T20:12:00.000-07:00

Last week the girls were out of school for Fall Break, so Wednesday night we packed our van and headed east for our fourth annual Lake Tenkiller Trip! We look forward to this trip all year knowing that we get to relax, be silly, and have fun! Here are a few facts about what we did this year:

* We sat on the back porch every morning sipping coffee, enjoying the warmth from the chiminea, talking about anything and everything, and watching our kids play outside.

* We went down to the water to skip rocks and explore.

* We saw lots of deer.

* Every afternoon during nap time, the adults played some serious games of Boggle.

* We ate and ate and ate.....

* We found an awesome park and played for hours-- swings, teeter-totter, merry-go-round.

* We played hide and seek at the park and had SO MUCH FUN! The trees provided the perfect hiding spots. I don't think I have run that hard in a very long time.

* We had our first annual family dance off (We danced to the eighties classic "You Spin Me Right Round" by Dead or Alive. Our costumes included lots of make-up, a hot pink prom dress, an eye patch, and side ponytails. It was awesome).

* We took a night ride in the Mule (ATV) and watched a storm roll in over the lake.

Due to the large amounts of fun being had, I didn't get to take a lot of pictures. But here are a few to document that we were there.

Lucas stopping long enough for me to snap a photo

My family

Nikki and I

My new favorite photo of Hannah and Leah

We are already looking forward to our next trip!

We Are Back

2011-10-23T15:49:00.001-07:00

We just returned from a gloriously relaxing and calm week at the lake. We reconnected as a family. We spent time with friends. We enjoyed a slow-paced, disconnected-from-the-world, reveling in the beauty of nature kind of trip.

Now I need to unpack and get us all ready to jump back into the busy reality of the coming week. *deep sigh*

I will post more about our week tomorrow. Hope you had a good weekend!

Hannah Art

2011-10-19T18:43:00.001-07:00

Hannah drew this adorable cat today and was so pleased with herself! We thought it was great too. She said she discovered how to make animals look "cute". She said you give them big eyes and a small mouth. I think it is so neat how she came to that conclusion all on her own.

Field Trip

2011-10-18T18:54:00.001-07:00

The girls' first grade class went on a field trip today to Orr Family Farm and Pumpkin Patch. I am so grateful that I was able to go as a chaperone. We went on a hayride, saw animals in the petting zoo, went down a "super slide" and picked out pumpkins of course. What did you do today?

Sunday Night In T Town

2011-10-17T16:19:00.001-07:00

I love live music. Always have. I spent most of my high school and college years going to shows. My friends and I were always planning when and where and how far away the next one would be. I collected a lot of band shirts along the way as well as a lot of memories.

Since having kids we haven't been able to go to too many shows anymore. The late nights, loud music and sometimes smokey venues do not lend themselves to the six and under crowd. Even still we've managed to make it to a few. And yesterday was one of those days!

I have been wanting to see David Crowder for years, and he just happened to be doing a farewell tour that passed through Tulsa yesterday! And he was playing with Gungor and John Mark McMillan-- both of which are fantastic!

Luckily Tulsa (known as T Town around these parts) is just a quick hour and a half drive north of OKC. We headed out with some good friends at 3:00, leaving my kids in my dad's capable hands. We chatted about all kinds of things on the way up, including a lively debate on the actual lyrics of Def Leopard's "Pour Some Sugar on Me" (who knew they crooned the word "saccharine" in there?!). We were there in no time.

We had time to find a fun place for dinner downtown at El Guapo's (you must say this name in a heavy Latin accent; it's a requirement). We ate our dinner on the rooftop while admiring Tulsa's ecclectic architecture and the warm fall evening.

Eventually we headed to the famous Cain's Ballroom for the show. It has been awhile since I stood for four and a half hours, but man it was worth it. Live music is so energizing and inspiring and moving and just plain fun. It was nearly 2:00 in the morning when we arrived home, and I have been dragging today, but that Sunday night in T Town will go down among the best.

Watching Them Play

2011-10-15T19:42:00.001-07:00

I love watching my kids play when they don't realize that I am watching them. I caught this scene with my phone's camera as I sat on the front porch this afternoon. They were all engrossed in some made-up scenario. I love watching them have fun together. It makes my heart so happy.